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2 Bumps

Bizarre dilema .. wwyd

Son was officially grounded from attending the state fair he left his bike out 3 days in a row. I trusted him to put it away, he lied and said he did, dad gets home from work at 8pm and discovers bike out. ... Just received a call from Mensa coordinators inviting him to do the State Fair booth for a few hours (with adults) and pass out stuff, answer questions, etc etc. I'd feel awful making him stand by rides, smell food, and not allow him to partake. However it was an honor he was invited. He's a sassy quirky clever amazing kid he's just going thru some pretty age appropriate issues with time management and taking care of his stuff, etc (he's 8 1/2) how to handle?? If I pass on his behalf, it's pretty unlikely they'd extend the offer again

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hibbingmom

Asked by hibbingmom at 5:07 PM on Aug. 2, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 35 (71,876 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • He should be grounded for something else, not from the state fair where it looks like he is welcomed. I'd just take the bike away.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:08 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Tough one. I can be a softie sometimes so I'd probably sit his butt down and really have a chat about the lying and how it can't happen again. I'd add that you don't want him to miss this opportunity but if he screws up again, that's it, no bike and therefore no freedom. You could make a chart so that when he comes in, he checks off that he's put the bike away. I know that's corny but boys really can be bad at paying attention. Or it's just a painful lesson and he doesn't go. : 0
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:11 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • he didn't want to take bike away because at the end of aug or early sept he's starting botox injections and leg castings and likely wont be riding again til next spring. he has a ton of leg and foot problems but for some reason when he's on his bike everything fits on the pedal perfectly :) so taking his bike away just felt... like too much.
    hibbingmom

    Comment by hibbingmom (original poster) at 5:11 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • ohhhh well shoot. You're kinda stuck. More than anything, I'd address the lying.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:13 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Lots of extra chores instead perhaps?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:20 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • I would explain that this is a big opportunity for him and as such you are retracting the 'no going to the fair' punishment. I would explain that this doesn't get him off the hook for lack of responsibility and lying. If it were me I would have him write an apology letter to me and DH in regards to the lying and have him take his bike out ride it down then up the drive way then put it away repeat for a good 30 minutes or so.

    (I had DD open and close her bedroom door quietly today for a good 15 minutes after she slammed it one to many times)
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:29 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • I'd feel awful making him stand by rides, smell food, and not allow him to partake.

    Dont feel bad. Grounding from the fair is entirely different than not being allowed to partake in the Mensa booth.
    I have had the kids go to the pool and not allowed them to get in due to bad behavior.

    Just because they were grounded didn't mean everyone else should miss out, KWIM?

    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 5:35 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • I like the chores suggestion- give him the OPTION to earn the pass to the fair by completing a list of tasks each day? Then it's his fault if he doesn't get to go?
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:41 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • I agree with feralxat. He should be allowed to do the state fair booth for a few hours, but not allowed to enjoy the entertainment.

    He knows the rules and what was expected of him regarding the bike and lying...maybe just use this as an example for him to learn a good lesson.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 6:37 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • If it were me I would have him write an apology letter to me and DH in regards to the lying and have him take his bike out ride it down then up the drive way then put it away repeat for a good 30 minutes or so.

    (I had DD open and close her bedroom door quietly today for a good 15 minutes after she slammed it one to many times)

    I wholeheartedly agree with this. Let the punishment fit the crime. If he rides his bike up and down the driveway a few dozen times and puts it away after each round, he isn't likely to forget again. And if he has to write a full-page letter on how lying damages the trust his parents have for him, the words might sink into his teenage brain.

    Give him the choice--ride the bike two dozen times and put it away after each spin and write the essay about lying, or miss the fair. Then it's up to him what he does.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:18 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

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