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What should I do about my husbands best friend living with us? I can not tolerate him!

My husband and I just got married in Dec, we moved into a bigger home, and to save on the larger rent agreed to let his BF rent a room. This guy is soo needy he acts like he is my husbands wife, bosses him around, expects him to do everything with him, stays up until 3am and expects my husband to socialize with him all hours of the night, and wines if he comes to bed earlier than 1am with me. I work, I am 30 years old this kid is 23. It is effecting my marriage, my sleep.. I dont even want to come home most nights and this is my home!

 
JNA121212

Asked by JNA121212 at 5:56 PM on Aug. 2, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I would give it time(it's only been 3 days right??) and keep gently reminding him and then upping the intensity if it doesn't change. Make sure to let him know when you are getting to the end of your rope.

    beyond that I don't know what else you can do, of course besides leaving.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 6:27 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Tell your husband it is you or the friend. And mean it.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:57 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • yeah- are they gay?
    and no, it's not a rude question. that kind of attachment between males, especially when one is married is weird.
    or
    husband could have married you for less than honorable reasons and is using the friend as an excuse to avoid you...
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 6:04 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • How old is your husband?
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 6:07 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Are they gay?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • Actually, I was thinking what anon said.
    I'm sorry to say it but are you sure they aren't gay?

    Otherwise, that guy has GOT to go. How old is your husband as it could just be the age (the partying and staying up late). Either way, your husband has to shut this whole thing down or it will ruin your marriage.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:06 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • I want him to see on his own that this is not working.


    It is very unlikely that he will see his friend in a negative light. Accept that now.
    Husband has to understand how he is making you feel.

    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 6:27 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • If they were American men, yes I would be with you 100% on the Gay thought. They are middle eastern, in their culture this is normal, the men get together and smoke hookah and have coffee, they stay up later at night and sleep in usually in their own country because work/life starts later there. It is going to ruin the marriage I agree.. I am hoping this will blow over since we have litterally spent 3 nights in the new house but I just dont see that happening. I question the Best Friend, maybe he is gay, or maybe he is just needy because he has no one here in this country either way it is not my problem. And sooner or later they are either going to have to move in together and live happily ever after or he is going to have to get his own life because I am not putting up with this any longer.
    JNA121212

    Comment by JNA121212 (original poster) at 6:12 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

  • My husband is 30.
    JNA121212

    Comment by JNA121212 (original poster) at 6:14 PM on Aug. 2, 2013




    • If they were American men, yes I would be with you 100% on the Gay thought. They are middle eastern,


      Yeah, nationality has no bearing on sexuality, neither does "culture" at most it'll only determine how open someone might be about it. 


    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 6:15 PM on Aug. 2, 2013

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