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I was married to a narcissus .. He is a terrible person but why do I stil feel the need to want take him back?

He cheated within 2 months of our marriage while I was pregnant
He is a compulsive liar
He allowed his mother to treat me and my kids terrible
He cheated with numerous women after getting caught the first time
He hid money and didn't pay any bills
He started telling rumors about me to everyone (lies)
He started telling people I was bipolar! (Liar)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:08 AM on Aug. 3, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • nar·cis·sus
    A bulbous Eurasian plant of the lily family. Its genus (Narcissus) includes the daffodil, esp. one with flowers that have white or pale...

    Want to rephrase that?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:16 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • I have no earthly idea why you would want a monster like that back in your life. It's probably worth discussing with a counselor so you don't end up back with him or with another just like him.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:53 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • There is something in you that needs fixing if you would even consider returning to that kind of life. The only way you should even think about it would be a several yearar demonstration that the man had changed his ways. It does happen, but it is rare.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:16 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Why do Women who are abused & have a restraining order against a Man who the get beat unconscious want to pick him up from jail after he completes his time for abusing them only to kill them later? They are brainwashed by these predators &lose all their self esteem.

    Don't be another statistic.

    I worked in a Prison for 13 years & people like him NEVER change. Protect yourself & child.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:26 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • I'm assuming you mean narcissist and not a plant, because being married to a plant is just weird.

    Narcissism is a personality disorder and very few people who have it will change. If you want to go back to that hell, there is something wrong with you (no offense) and you really need to address the issue with a counselor. It's actually quite common though. Narcissistic people tend to wear down the people around them, making spouses, etc feel like no one else will want them.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 10:24 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • some ppl always wnt to be with the one tht she/he knows not good for them...

    Answer by smiley745 at 11:06 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • You want him back because you haven't learned to be you by yourself without anyone else. Which means you married too soon in the first place.

    No taking him back. Become a woman who stands on her own.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:19 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Go for a better life.

    Answer by morebee7 at 5:29 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • You want to take him back because of YOUR feelings for him, which aren't really rooted in who he is.
    Probably you had SOME kind of good times at some point. And probably he said SOMEthing that made you believe/hope that he loved you & felt regret, something that helped you "move on" and "try again" back then.
    Plus, you have a child with him.
    My guess, too, would be that you don't feel particularly supported or empowered, or like you have a lot of options/resources.
    All those things, combined with your feelings about him & your feelings about yourself WITH him, make you want to be with him.
    It all makes sense.
    The more tolerance you can have for discomfort (fear, uncertainty, self-doubt, loneliness), the more free you will be. If you are caught in aversion to suffering (if it feels too threatening & you try to avoid it at any cost) then you will tend to be stuck (ironically, suffering more than if you just accepted pain/fear!)

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:12 PM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • Read some books about Narcissists or go to counseling. I'm Co Dependent and get sucked in by them all the time. I guess I feel my love would "fix" them. I'm finally learning, no I can't. I've been hiding from the narcissist I spent 6 yrs with. Some days I want him back too but then I come to my senses and steer clear of him. I just keep remembering ALL the bad things he did and the way I felt when he did them. Take your post and print it and put it on your refrigerator as a reminder of stuff he's done. That might help

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

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