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3 Bumps

My daughter's boyfriend smokes cigarettes.

Both dh and I smoke but none of our kids do. My 16 year olds new boyfriend was over yesterday and he asked if I minded if he smoked. I was caught off guard and said ok but still didn't like the idea of him smoking at my house. Times are different now than they were when I was that age and the thought of someone under age smoking these days is sad. Anyone else been through this with their kids or their friends?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:53 AM on Aug. 3, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • Is he under age to buy them? I would tell him no next time.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:58 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • So just tell him you don't want him smoking at your house. End of problem. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to come to your house. If your daughter doesn't like it, too bad. You don't have to allow things at your home that you aren't comfortable with.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:48 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • I wouldn't be comfortable with it either. Do the boy's parents allow him to smoke in their presence? Even so, it's a respect thing. I smoked as a teenager, but would never do so in front of my friends' parents & was even well into adulthood, before I smoked in front of MY own parents & grandparents.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:03 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • you said he was under age- so younger than 18?
    in alabama and florida he cannot even legally posses tobacco
    may want to check your state and county laws to make sure you aren't setting yourself up for any possible legal issues...
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 8:45 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Next time tell him that you changed your mind (or whatever you want to say) and that he is not allowed to smoke in your house or on your property. Do it gently.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:49 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Times are not really so different. It is sad that you and your DH smoke, regardless of age. Tobacco is a sacred herb, many medicianl propeties, but what we get is irradiated to produce leaf instead of blossom and then treated with toxins for "taste" and smoothe burning. I suggest you be the adult in the group and challenge DH and BF to a quit smoking contest. Every penny you all spend on cigarettes makes it into the pocket of some of the most vile humans on earth. Be the change you want to see and all that... good luck!
    or the record, i ama smoker too. Quit for 15 years, started again when daughter pulled serious BS on me. August 16 is my quit date. Join me?
    1hurtingmom

    Answer by 1hurtingmom at 9:36 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Unfortunately I smoke (dh quit) and both my 16 yr old sd and her bf smoke. It's a nasty evil habit but if they are going to smoke you either let them or they will sneak around and do it. Where I live it's only illegal for underage kids to buy cigarettes it's not against the law for them to smoke.
    GarysWife1991

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 12:25 PM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Make sure you check your state laws, because if he is a minor smoking at your house, you could get in serious trouble depending on what your law states. I wouldn't allow it. He is underage and you shouldn't allow him to smoke around you.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 12:50 PM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Of course, you can choose not to permit your daughter's boyfriend to smoke in your home. It's your house, your rules. Don't be surprised if your daughter and the boyfriend both resent the fact that you smoke but won't allow him to do it. Right or wrong, they'll see it as the pot calling the kettle black. If you can deal with the fallout, then stick to your guns. But I suggest thinking through how you will address their questions before you start. "Because we're the adults and we said so" isn't likely to foster a good relationship with either teen.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:10 PM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Are you sure your daughter isn't smoking, too?
    LuvsHopesDreams

    Answer by LuvsHopesDreams at 8:37 PM on Aug. 8, 2013

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