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Husband puts adult daughter before me. Time for me to leave? adult content

This is compolicated. We have a sociopath son in low who is galsighting her, and has her lying and saying pretty nasty things about me. My husband and I both caught this man playing hard on games with our grandson - his 2 year old son. Our daughter blackmailed him into saying he did NOT see it, now my entire family believes I made up this awful lie. I played along at first because we don't know how to help her and she uses our grandkids as weapons. We thought if we played along, maybe we could at least see them, but after giving in to her blackmail, she are still cut out of their lives (by the demands of her husband.) It took me 2 years, but I finally got her to a shrink with me, she just sat there lying and when I tlaked to the shrink about it, he said I should just let her lie. Understand, I can't do this any more. I am tired of having no one speak to me, and I am tired of living with a man who is content to leave me out to hang. Understand we have been married 33 years, I love him very much and I HATE what she has done to him, I blame the sociopath pedophile, not him, but I fall asleep crying every night and wake up crying every morning. I don't really want to, but I feel like I have to leave.
Thanks for any input. I expect some snarky, nasty replies because I have never used a forum where there were not trolls, so please understand that with all I have been through, trolls merely amuse me.

 

Update: After writing this, I confronted my husband this morning and pretty much said something has to change, and he is tepping up to clear this mess up with my siblings at least. Please pray for my daughter and grandson, I do not know what else can be done for them. To the person(s) offended by my hit and miss presence here, I apologize but I run a farm, and I can only get to the internet occassionally and for short spells. I sat here after posting for quite some time, got no replies, so went and looked at a couple other threads. I must say, I am stunned that that comment was the closest thing I got to being trolled, and I appreciate it very much. This has been a very difficult time for me and I appreicate that people did not take the opportunity to make it worse just because they could. Glad I found this place, hope I never have to ask a question that hard again.

 
1hurtingmom

Asked by 1hurtingmom at 9:23 AM on Aug. 3, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Why have you not called CPS if you, in fact, witness a sexual assault on your grandson? That should be first and foremost on your to do list.

    With regard to your marriage, I cannot advise you there. Only you know what is best for you at this point. I, personally, wouldn't stick around. Life is too short.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:03 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • My husband and I both caught this man playing hard on games with our grandson - his 2 year old son.

    How long ago did this happen and did you both report it to CPS?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:07 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • The focus here should be the small child getting abused! Focus on doing anything and everything to make him safe and protected. The adults can be lying, rude, upset, unfaithful jerks!! Who cares? The little one is the one who needs the help
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 10:09 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • What was the blackmail?
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:31 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • If in fact this is all true, then there is more to the story than you are telling us. Because I just don't see how your whole family just decided you are lying without reason to not trust what you say.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 11:16 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • This isn't about you or whether your children have called to wish you a merry Christmas or a happy birthday in two years. It's about your grandson. He's too little to defend himself, and if filing criminal charges is the only way to get the situation investigated and taken seriously, that's what you need to be doing. It's the only thing that matters. I am trying to wrap my head around the idea that you give a damn about your own feelings of abandonment while your grandson is potentially being sexually abused. Seriously?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:00 PM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • There is NO QUESTION you need to leave and report the WHOLE DAMNED FAMILY to the cops. Everyone who said you lied is an accessory to the crime against the child.

    Get out TODAY.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:16 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • Ahhh, you returned. Ok, let me give you some advice on this forum. When you post something explosive like this, please, please, please- do not wait an hour to respond. You don't have to respond to everyone or even immediately but don't leave for an hour.

    OK- onto the OP.
    Your family has decided that you are lying about child sexual abuse. Considering the allegations of criminal activity is so extreme- WHY do they feel you are lying?
    What has happened in the past that No One believes your account of the events?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:30 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • I expect some snarky, nasty replies because I have never used a forum where there were not trolls, so please understand that with all I have been through, trolls merely amuse me. 


    I find it amusing that you include commentary on trolls and then abandon your own thread...


    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:20 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

  • I did not abandon my thread, I was trying to participate in other threads while I waited for replies.
    I did call CPS, they went to the home and my daughter told them I was lying, then blackmailed my husband to not back me up. CPS never even called and asked him anything. Now CPS says all I can do is file criminal charges against my daughter and husband, but the other "investigation" is now closed. This happened a little over two years ago.
    We have been focused on trying to protect the child, that is being used against us. Our willingness to do ANYTHING to stay in touch is tearing me apart. It has been 2 years since any of my 6 siblings called and wished me happy birthday, Merry Christmas, or even just called to tell me to go to hell. They cut me out of their life for "lying" about my daughter.
    1hurtingmom

    Comment by 1hurtingmom (original poster) at 10:25 AM on Aug. 3, 2013

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