Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do u get a 13 month old to listen to u?

my son never wants to obey me he used to laugh but now he slaps me, yells at me or both. i feel like ive tried everything... its just so hard i feel like he hates me!!!! i mean what did i do... love u, changed diapers, breast fed him now my boobs got a make over from hell!lol... i love him so..so... much much and i hate disipling him but i know i have to and i just need some help!!!!

Answer Question
 
lovemybabies078

Asked by lovemybabies078 at 5:20 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You have to get over hating to discipline. Its how you mold your child into a person that can respect you and others.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • With my 14 month old..when he gets upset because I wont let him do something or I take something off him he cant have he will get upset. I let him get upset and just waist beside him. Once hes settled I will put out my arms and he comes for a hug...since doing this he now just instantly comes into my arms for a cuddle and is over it. Subsequently he no longer hits in frustration because I allow him to express himself without adding drama but am there to validate his feelings.

    It is the only way he can show his feelings at this age..and I figure that allowing him to express them and move on from them is much better than not letting him vent. He is already showing he is getting a better grasp of his feelings. I also find I am really calm and its not big deal.

    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:24 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • You don't. lol
    I had one who decided he was going to hit and be nasty for a bit. I made a deal of fake crying and telling him 'Ow you hurt mommy' and he would come give me kisses and hugs to make it better. At that age they have so much they want to say and do but can't so it's extremely frustrating, just imagine if you were suddenly paralyzed and couldn't talk or do anything for yourself!
    When he throws a fit just make sure he's safe and let him have it out, then give a cuddle and move on. Distracting him should still work fairly easily at this point too.
    Good luck with him momma, keep trying and it will get better!
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 5:27 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • its not that i hate disipline its i hate his reaction to it. i mean he is my world and it hurts me to the point that im in tears that he slaps me in the face and if i say something to him that he doesnt like he will just look at me and i dont know what he says but if it was actual words OMG!!! it would be like... NO!! i hate u. go away. ur a stupid B!t*h. and im afraid that once he can actually tell me what he thinks that that is what he is going to say to me!!! and it scares me because thats how me and my mom were different situation but none the less hatred and i dont want that... i want a good relationship with my son!!!!!
    lovemybabies078

    Answer by lovemybabies078 at 5:29 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • My answer would almost echo exatly what 'Keyaziz' said.

    Firstly, I do not flat out expect my daughter to 'obey' me. She is her own person, of course.

    But, when it comes to dangerous situations, like trying to bash things down from a shelf, and I say "No honey, you can't do that, it's dangerous", and she doesn't listen, I come over to her and pick her up and take her away from it. She usually cries, and I sit with her on my lap and listen to her until she is finished, and then she snuggles and runs off again.

    Shouting/spanking/time-outs do not help toddlers learn, they are counter-active so it's best to rule those out completely.
    ladysavage

    Answer by ladysavage at 5:30 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I would recommend you get:

    raising our children, raising ourselves. I think you would find that beneficial if you feel that way :)
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:31 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • This article may really be of benefit to you - http://www.awareparenting.com/sayno.htm
    ladysavage

    Answer by ladysavage at 5:32 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Children mimic so I hope no one is acting this way in your house (other children, husband etc.). That said - children will get away with what they can get away with and you are losing control and will NOT go back if you don't start soon to discipline. You need to enforce a time out after the first warming and maybe a count of three. You sit them down and they have to wait until their time out is over. You give them as many minutes as their age and tell them calmly why they are there. My daughter now tells me that she needs another time out if she's almost done with the first and she is still not calmed down. We use a timer and "wait for the beep beeps".... AND _ YOU HAVE TO BE CONSISTENT and not follow through only some of the time. When you love your child you would do ANYTHING for them....you are not dong your child any favors by NOT disciplining. YOU CAN DO IT!!! :) Do it BECAUSE you love him....
    stannseniors

    Answer by stannseniors at 11:30 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I think the best way is to take a postive approach. My daughters are 2 1/2 and 13 months when they act up I try to not make it a huge deal - i will move them to a differernt area or just away from whatever is causing the problem - and have them sit and calm down. Then I sit and give them hug . Gives them a chance to get the frustration out. Also try to give lots of praie when they are being good. As far as hittng I had a problem with for awhile wth my older one pushing her sister who was just stating to walk down. Everytime she did that i explained that we do not hit or push anyone - she then had to give her sister a hug and say she was sorry. So i think just being consistent is the key . And it does get easier to me as they get older b./c at least then you can somewhat reasson with them . i wish you all the best .
    ssdm4ever

    Answer by ssdm4ever at 12:25 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Try really hard not to take it personally. Toddlers act like this and it goes away. He's just frustrated because he can't not express to you in words what he wants to say and thinks that you don't understand him. He loves you and thinks you are a good Mommy. Try not to get your fears of feelings from your past mixed with that of your sons.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN