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Not really understanding..

So today I'm out with my boyfriend, his kids and some of my friends and he's saying I don't wanna be with him and that I'm just going to try and get a divorce. Gets the big thing we aren't married or engaged so I've no idea where the hell the came from but now I'm totally confused as to why he'd say something like that. Btw he's been divorced for almost a year but they haven't been together in a year and a half or more so I'm not sure why he'd say it or anything.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Aug. 4, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Sorry my phone loves to switch up my words for no reason. I meant but the big thing is*
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:56 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • Sounds like he has lingering issues, like depression.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 2:02 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • He's probably feeling insecure since he has already been through a divorce. I have been through one myself and I know that there are a lot of insecurities when going into another relationship. You didn't say how long you have been seeing him. He probably needs some reassurance in the relationship. Tell him how you feel, and tell him that you are not his ex-wife. He may even try comparing you to her. Good luck.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 2:04 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • We've been together almost a year, we're expecting a baby in January as well so I wouldn't understand where the insecurities are coming from. I've been through 2 divorces and had no regrets about ending them. You says he's completely over his ex but now I'm just unsure.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:13 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • Ugh. Stupid iPhone I'm about to trash it. He says he's *
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:14 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • Maybe he has trust issues, since he's so recently out of a broken relationship. It's hard when you feel like you're paying for sins committed by someone else in the past, but hopefully some reassurance will sway him.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:14 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • Talk to him! Ask him why he feels this way. In order to make any relationship work you need to be able to talk about issues.
    GarysWife1991

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 5:28 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • Who wanted his divorce - him or his ex? It kind of sounds to me like it was her idea and he didn't want it, and now he's projecting her actions onto you, thinking you'll do the same thing. Which could just be lingering insecurity that will go away, or it could be a sign that he's not really over the divorce yet, or who knows? The best thing you can do is talk to him. Ask him why he said that, why he feels that way, if you've done something to make him feel that way and if you haven't, then why is he worried about it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:53 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • In order to understand where he's coming from, all you have to do is ask him. Open, honest communication is key in any solid relationship. Like others have said, he probably needs some reassurance. Let's face it, between the 2 of you, you have 3 divorces, so of course he'd be a little weary. Having children obviously doesn't insure a lasting relationship either, since he has children w/ his ex. So the fact that you're having a child together is no guarantee either. You guys need to have a heart-to-heart & work thru some things before the baby comes. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:47 AM on Aug. 4, 2013

  • I suspect he was NOT ready for this relationship. But you need to talk to him. If you cannot ask him any little thing that's on your mind, you should not be sleeping with him.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:26 PM on Aug. 4, 2013

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