I have two older children (ages 16 and 17) whom I share custody with my ex-husband. I have physical custody. We have been divorced for 10+ years. During that time he has done the bare minimum when it comes to the visitation with his children. He was supposed to have 90 nights a year. He barely would take them for 10. Two years ago we went to court so that I could get permission to move my children out of state. Now my children and I live in GA and he lives in MI.
He was always mentally and emotionally abusive to me. That's what lead to the divorce. All this time his children haven't "noticed" or haven't been willing to admit that he's abusive towards them... until now that is.
My kids went to MI to be with their dad for the summer. Seems DAD has a new girlfriend though and he quickly made plans for the kids to stay with relatives for the majority of the summertime. They didn't mind that all that much. What they did mind was what happened when they got back to dad's. On the last two days (out of the whole 9 days they spent with dad) of their visit their dad just exploded with continuous complaints, lies, accusations, etc.
**By the way... my kids told me all of this soon after I picked them up at the airport in Atlanta 4 days ago.**
He told them they were disrespectful and rude to all the relatives, that none of the relatives wanted to even see them again (which we've already found out to be false), that they are filthy and unkempt (obviously untrue), that they (my kids) hold very little value to him, even less value then his dog, that he believes 3/4 of the world's population is headed towards disaster and he hopes his children will be right there with them, that no would hire them with their current behavior and rudeness (my children are extremely polite and well behaved), etc. ((That's just a handful of the things he told them))
As I'm sure you can imagine, my kids are EXTREMELY upset over this and never want to see him again. I haven't said anything to him about this. None of us bothered to send him a "courtesy text or call" that we usually give when the kids are safe and sound back in my care. We've been so upset. I'm not really sure how to address this. I HATE talking to him because it just brings up those years of abuse that he did to me. The kids want to wait until we can all go to MI for Christmas and just have a sit-down with him and have a big discussion about how we all feel. They feel his behavior is mostly due to his new girlfriend but I know that may have "helped it along" but he's always been like that.. just not as straightforward about it.
I want to say something to him - send him an email or something - not that it'll probably do any good, but just to let him know they are REALLY hurt and I'm hurt for them. What would you do?
Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Aug. 4, 2013 in General Parenting
Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 8:57 PM on Aug. 4, 2013
Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:54 PM on Aug. 4, 2013
Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:05 PM on Aug. 4, 2013
Answer by jeanclaudia at 8:55 PM on Aug. 4, 2013
Answer by fiatpax at 9:03 PM on Aug. 4, 2013
Answer by Dardenella at 11:06 PM on Aug. 4, 2013
Answer by gdiamante at 9:02 PM on Aug. 4, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 9:25 PM on Aug. 4, 2013