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7 Bumps

Help me work this out, Baptism.

DD 12, living with Mormon Dad.
We had a pretty in- depth conversation the other day and discussed whether or not she was Mormon.
I explained, according to My religion no. But she could be whatever she wanted because God led her down that path, etc. (Many of you know my go to line regarding religion)

Yesterday she told me, based on the go to line, she was ready to be baptized.

Here is my conundrum:
How can a child who is incapable of making multiple life decisions (i.e. drinking, smoking, voting) capable of determining whether or not she wants to commit her life to a particular religion?

How can I determine if this is her decision and not the influence of the church (Mormon children are normally baptized around 8)?


Asked by feralxat at 12:06 PM on Aug. 5, 2013 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 45 (195,152 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (43)
  • I absolutely understand your reservations about this, I would feel the exact same way if it were my dd. It's not as simple as walking away and forgetting about it if she changes her mind someday. I've read a lot of horror stories about people trying to leave and getting bothered by constant visits, etc. I believe kids have a right to make their own decisions about their religious beliefs, but something like this is different when you know if you want to someday walk away it won't be that easy. The whole keeping track (and they're excellent at keeping track of members) is beyond creepy to me.

    I'm sorry I can't be of much help, but I do understand why you're worried about this. I would be too.

    Answer by Nos4 at 2:52 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • A child of 12 is capable of making a great many decissions and not all of them good. Do you trust her to make a decission not to drink? Have sex? Not do drugs? Then why would she not be capable of making a decission about what she believe?

    If you look at your own life you have made a multitude of choices that later in life you have changed. If you were baptized your belief either got stronger or you decided you no longer believe. You may now believe in a different religion. We all change as we grow.

    If you trust your dd I'd allow her to be baptized. I've also never known of anyone who throws a party for a baptism. Perhaps that depends on the religion.

    Answer by baconbits at 12:21 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • Making bad decisions in one or more areas does not mean that you can not make the right decision is another area.
    She may be making the right decision for her.
    I would perhaps ask her to think and pray on it for six months and continue to talk to you for that length of time to help her be sure of her decision which should not be taken lightly. Tell her you will support her in her decision but want her to take a little more time. The ability to b baptized into that church will still be there in 6 months time.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:24 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • "I suppose part of the issue is, once you are on the Mormon rolls you are there for life and even in death. Ifshe changes her faith they will still track her.
    It isnt like being baptized in another form of Christianity and then leaving that church (or being excommunicated for that matter). "

    That would be my only concern. I'm not sure if I would be comfortable with my child entering into that kind of faith system until he's (since mine is a boy) older. Usually baptism, in other kinds of Christian practice, is symbolic and doesn't really effect anything if you end up changing your mind later. Something like this would, though, and so I do think it's different than if he were to want to get baptized as a Methodist or a Baptist, you know? It's harder to get out of, so more thought and a longer waiting period seems reasonable, IMO.

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 3:08 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • It still comes down to you allow her to make other choices and trust her to make good ones. It's time to trust her on this. Perhaps she will stay with the church and then again she may not but this is a choice that is really hers to make. It's hard and in the case of Mormans it may be a life long decission as they may "track" you but I'm pretty sure you can tell them to go away and they will. I've never had one bother me after I tell them sorry not interested.

    Answer by baconbits at 2:51 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • "How can a child who is incapable of making multiple life decisions (i.e. drinking, smoking, voting) capable of determining whether or not she wants to commit her life to a particular religion?"

    She can't but does this include a Party afterwards with PRESENTS!!!???

    Hmm...maybe that's why she said she is ready. Just a thought ;)


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:11 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • No doubt she is getting influenced by her family and friends if she is going to church. She wants to feel like she belongs.

    12 is young, but know making this decision won't have negative effects like drinking would. She can always change her mind later.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 12:27 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • If she changes her faith they will still track her. What do you mean by track?

    Answer by PandaGwen at 12:45 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • Nothing as creepy as a Mormon Mafia- just great record keeping.

    Now that's true. I've known many former Mormons who have said that once in a while, someone shows up at the door and asks if they're ready to return to the fold. But they go away quietly when the answer is no. Strong-arming may happen, but I haven't personally heard of it.

    Aren't you basically saying you believe in original sin and that ONLY Jesus can remove the stain of that sin?

    Original sin is a concept I struggled with. I had a great pastor who explained that what it means is that all are born with the capacity to sin. Babies are innocent; they haven't sinned. But given time, every single one of them will slip sooner or later. It's part of being human. Remember that "sin" means "anything that separates a soul from God." Life, with all of its temptations and distractions, separates souls from God, and religion is one way of reconnecting.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:12 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

    • If she changes her faith they will still track her. What do you mean by track?

      They literally find out your current address and will have the local missionaries visit you on at least a weekly basis and ask for the previous member by hubby is an ex-mormon...


    Answer by KristiS11384 at 1:48 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

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