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3 Bumps

Husband Wants to Leave Vacation Early....I'm a bleep apparently

So here we are on vacation. I was really looking forward to it. I was especially looking forward to help with my two very busy toddlers! Alas, there is no help in sight. I'm doing everything. He just sits and plays on his phone. Even when I specifically asked him to do a task, I got ignored. Finally, I'd had it. I yelled at my 2 year old to sit down and get pj's on. Then he perked up. Now I'm a bitch for being annoyed and he wants to go home in the morning. What the hell! Man up and help! Not to mention he screamed and I'm sure all the neighbors heard. Fantastic! How do I handle this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Aug. 5, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I'm not sure why you aren't allowed to have vacation too. I'd sit him down and ask him what makes him think he can sit on his ass while you are the slave...EVER? They are his kids too. I'd tell him that leaving is fine but when you get home, he can do all the damn work. I'm pissed for you and pissed at these lazy men who father kids but think since they hold a job they don't have to help at home. Staying home is work too!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:13 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • Tell if he wants to go you will sit and watch him feed & dress the kids, and then watch him pack everything up.... Tell him to let you know when it's time to go....

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:28 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • Tell if he wants to go you will sit and watch him feed & dress the kids, and then watch him pack everything up.... Tell him to let you know when it's time to go....

    Perfect! *Thunderous applause!*

    Answer by Ballad at 11:38 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • This is very confusing. Your neighbors went on vacation with you?

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:43 PM on Aug. 5, 2013

  • He is being a Dick face. It is your vacation too!!!!!

    Answer by staciandababy at 12:36 AM on Aug. 6, 2013

  • Then tell him he can go home but that he can't take the car because you'll need it and, as you're both on holiday, he can choose which of the toddler he's taking with him. Share and share alike.

    Then you get on with having a fun vacation with the luckier toddler :)

    Answer by goldpandora at 4:26 AM on Aug. 6, 2013

  • On vacation? I would have walk out. Alone. Would leave the kids with him for a couple of hours. Go take a break.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:38 AM on Aug. 6, 2013

  • A vacation with young kids is really no vacation for a mom. I have 5 and I spend our family vacations taking care of the family, but my husband does help out. I take a long weekend every fall with my girlfriends to rest and recharge.
    But in your situation, I would leave for a few hours and let him take care of the kids. When you get back maybe he will be so happy to have you there he'll continue to help out?

    Answer by missanc at 9:34 AM on Aug. 6, 2013

  • "Neighbors" around in the hotel, cottages, whatever is what I assumed.

    It's hard when you don't have a supportive partnership & when your communication tends to escalate things or stall/derail things. Then, when you try to address the issues, it doesn't work out well (because the communication patterns aren't facilitating real communication, but rather triggering defensiveness & blame.)

    I think that's likely at the bottom of all of this.

    My recommendation would be to focus on responding to what's in front of you, and focus on making that response as constructive as you can. You make a request, he ignores it. So THAT (ignoring) is what is in front of you, and you respond constructively to that situation.
    Don't rely on blame, pointing out what's wrong with his action or non-response, or trying to "get him to see" the problem. Just own your feelings & communicate in "I messages" (versus "You messages") & see if it helps.

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:49 AM on Aug. 6, 2013

  • So he's oblivious to all that goes on around him until you get to your boiling point & shout at 1 of the kids?! Yeah, I'd either take a long walk leaving him there with the kids, or let him leave WITH the kids while you enjoy the rest of the vacation in blissful peace & quiet. He's being a selfish jerk & should be treated as such!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 12:54 PM on Aug. 6, 2013

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