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Ques. for moms w/ boys who have friends who are girls (not girl-friends)

Do your boys go thru phases where they turn on their female friends & just want guy time? I know kids do & say all kinds of crazy things & go thru different phases, but this latest dilemma w/ the boy next door has my dau's feelings hurt. They are only 6 wks. apart & have grown up together & play together a lot. Out of the blue, this kid starts shunning my dau & saying nasty things to hurt her feelings. (This is the same boy who did a wrestling move & slammed her to the ground a few weeks ago) Quite frankly, the kid can be a real little shit sometimes. We are on good terms w/ his parents & I think I'll talk to his mom today to see what her take is on the whole thing. In the meantime, she's having a friend over who won't be a hurtful little jerk! Ugh!

Have any of you ever dealt w/ something like this? Did you do anything, or did it just blow over?


Asked by mrsmom110 at 9:33 AM on Aug. 7, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (15)
  • I have no experience here, but just wanted to say I'm up for TP'ing his house. Just say the word.

    Answer by BeaverHouse at 9:34 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • I have a 12 yo dd and a 13 yo ds. It's a stage. Both of mine went through a period of time (my 12 yo is still there) where they went from having friends of both sexes to pretty much only same sex friends. My son is just now starting to branch out to having friends who are girls again, and he really doesn't right now, but he's open to it.
    However, if the neighbor boy is getting physical I would definitely talk to his parents. That needs to stop, now.

    Answer by missanc at 11:35 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • She may just need to back off from him for awhile. Turn to other friends. I'm willing to take a guess that he's being picked on for having a girl friend who's not his "girlfriend". Everyone changes and not always for the better. I wouldn't throw the friendship out the door but I would let it slide for awhile and see where it goes. It could also be that the boys hormones are kicking in and he's not sure how to handle them around her.

    Answer by baconbits at 10:21 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • This reminds me of the little boy in class putting gum in the girls hair that sits in front of him.....because he was in love with her. I think he really likes her a lot & doesn't understand his feelings so they come out as mean & aggressive. I think I'd just keep them apart for a bit. Talk to the Mom & tell her what think so she doesn't take it as you are ignoring her.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:39 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • My DS used to be more open to hanging out with his chick friends than he is now (10.5 y.o.). He still talks nice about most of them, but he says that a lot of the girls that used to be nice are kind of mean now. I'm thinking this is a fairly normal phase, without the physical aggressiveness of course. It could be the beginning of that phase where they start to take everything you say as an insult and either pout or get angry about it.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:59 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • My boys are 12 and 9. My best friend from high school has a son who will be 17 tomorrow and a daughter who is, literally, 364 days older than my oldest son. My boys are friends with both of them, but I've noticed if her son is into hanging with them (which he is more often than not, but since he's so much older, he does have his times where he doesn't want to play with the "little" kids), they do tend to...not necessarily ignore her, but she gets kind of pushed to the side in play. It's kind of a reluctant "okay, we'll play with you but only because you're here/we need a fourth/whatever." But they're not really mean about it

    It's hard to say if her feelings are hurt, because she's pretty boy crazy and she has a major crush on my oldest, so she won't show any emotion like that when he's around. lol

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:06 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • Yes, I do believe this is a phase....but what I did is let them work it out themselves, this is also a learning experience for your daughter to distinguish between a real friend and an acquaintance......


    Answer by older at 9:39 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • Boys go through this thing where they realize that girls are girls and girls can be yuck. He might be going through one of these phases. One day they can be fine with girls and the next, they aren't. I have no idea why, but that was my experience with my older stepsons when they were still at home.

    Answer by ChasingBridges at 10:17 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • 9 years with children brings tons of changes that an adult would never deal with........they are not formed yet.....and forming themselves brings about changes.....

    Answer by older at 11:05 AM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • That's called puberty

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:13 AM on Aug. 7, 2013