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2 Bumps

Would it be weird to you if a grown woman messaged your 16 year old daughter on facebook?

i ask because i recently noticed that my ex's sister has a facebook. it's the ex that is the father of my oldest that has zero involvement in her life. i haven't seen any of them in four years, the last time i saw his sister she was still a kid. now she's a freaking teenager! i just wanted to shoot her a quick message and say hi but, i don't know if her mom would find that inappropriate. i mean, ive known her since she was only 6 years old (the same age my daughter is now) and when my ex and i were together we had an awesome relationship. it's just been so long that i don't know if i should or not.


Asked by tnm786 at 4:25 PM on Aug. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I'd give it a try. What's the worst that can happen? The mom freaks out and you back off. But what's the best that can happen for a girl who might just miss you? I have a friend who helped raise a little girl till she was twelve as part of a lesbian couple, then lost contact after a break-up. The girl recently got in touch after twenty-some years, and it's been awesome for everyone.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:44 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • Well, this teenager would be your daughter's aunt, so I don't think it would really be all that weird. I mean, it's not like you're going to message her and ask her to send you boob shots. lol I'd just send a short message that says something like, "Hey, wow, you've really grown up! I remember when I met you, you were (daughter's name)'s age! Time really flies. I'd love to keep in touch, keep you posted on (daughter's name), if you're interested."

    If Mom freaks out, then I'd let it go. But I don't think sending a message, in this situation, would be weird.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:18 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • Since there is a family history, and you aren't some random stranger, I think it would be ok. Unless the ex's whole family hates you. Then you might be putting the girl in an awkward situation

    Answer by Nimue930 at 4:33 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • I'd give it a shot! Your daughter deserves to no her fathers side of the family if possible! Good luck!

    Answer by rachel216 at 6:08 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • I think I would ask the mom about her feelings and maybe set up a meet for old times sake with you and your daughters.
    If mom is freaked, I would say no.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:32 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • Not too weird. It's not like you are a complete stranger.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 6:49 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • If the 16-year-old is one of your relatives, it's not weird, as long as it's a cordial message and not too personal.

    Answer by SWasson at 6:25 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • I think it really comes down to the relationship you had with the girl and her parents at the time you were involved with their family. If any of those relationships were strained or uncomfortable I wouldn't.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:16 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • In your case, I don't think it would be weird. Like others have said, keep it short and cordial. Leave the ball in her court if she wants to contact you or not. Like Ballad said, the girl might just miss you.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 8:43 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • well when i saw them 4 years ago it was on good terms. her mom and i never really got along anyway lol she's a crackhead (literally) and her husband is an abusive alcoholic. last i heard my ex wrote all of them off and moved out of state with his wife and new kids that he actually does love.

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 4:36 PM on Aug. 7, 2013