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2 Bumps

Child is almost 13

Custody agreement is 50/50 No CS either way.The boys legal address is that of his mother according to the CA
Mother lives with mother and has since the divorce.
Father got remarried and has one child.
Mother is planning on moving in with BF (a new residence to both) in October 6 weeks after school begins.
BF has three boys who live with him.
Mother has stated and it has been heard by others including the boy in question that he hates him and does not want his boys anywhere near him.
The boys also , naturally hate him, or say they do, and gang up on the boy. This is not to the extent of needing to go to the hospital, but there have been blows and other torments.
The boy does not wish to live with these 4 males but loves his mother.
The mother is now going to child services for CS because she is a single income and the Ex is 2 income. To this point the ex has provided all the clothes for school and activities and provides medical.

Here is the question.
If you were the man how would you approach FS on your son's and your own behalf? The ex is happy to have the boy live full time with him. The mother will not agree to this willingly.
Will the mother have to go to court for CS? Would the ex and or his son have to go to court to change the living arrangements?

I am a regular but this is legal stuff. Thanks

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Aug. 7, 2013 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • OMmuthereffingG
    A kid defending himself is violent and untrustworthy?!

    Sorry I cant bump you again. You probably know you asked this question rather late in the day.
    Hope you get more help tomorrow.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 12:58 AM on Aug. 8, 2013

  • Why would the mother willingly move in when the other boys are acting like that before they even live together? Mom needs to get her head out of bf's ass and do what is best for the child. 

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:29 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • You would have to go to court for all of it. If she wants CS, she will have to file in the courts for it. If he wants custody, he will have to file to get it. The boy is old enough in most states that the court will listen to what he says about living arrangements. The mother is a selfish twit to want to move the boy into that kind of environment!
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:23 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • Mother has stated and it has been heard by others including the boy in question that he hates him and does not want his boys anywhere near him.
    Hunh?

    Anyways, the father of the child should get an atty and revisit the custody agreement.
    The mother will have to petition the court for child support because no child support was initially ordered
    The mother should know, the courts do not consider any one else's income when ordering child support. they only consider the income of the parents (best of my knowledge)
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:28 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • Mom has to go to court if she wants child support, and if the original order is that since custody is 50/50 there's no child support, more than likely she'd also have to ask that custody be changed in order to get it. Either way, Dad would also need to go to court to get custody changed, and whether she tries to change anything or not, HE definitely needs to go to court and get that kid out of there before he gets seriously hurt. No matter how much the boy loves his mom, it's clear she's not putting his best interests first, and someone needs to.

    If the boyfriend has said he hates the kid and all that in front of witnesses, Dad needs to get those witnesses into court (even if he has to get a lawyer to get a subpoena in order to make it happen) because that will pretty much clinch him getting custody over Mom.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:41 AM on Aug. 8, 2013

  • The mother should know, the courts do not consider any one else's income when ordering child support. they only consider the income of the parents (best of my knowledge)


    This is true, the courts won't even look at your income when determining CS, only the mom and dad's.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:42 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • I'm not up on the CS and custody stuff at all, but the mother needs a serious reality check.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:52 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • I think unless living arrangements are called out in the custody arrangement / court order then you cannot stop that. People have to move at times. I think most custody arrangements prohibit the custodial parent from moving the child more than a certain amount of miles from the other parent so as to not negatively impact visitation. If custody is shared 50/50 then there would be no need for him to pay child support since both parents share equal custody. If she threatens to go for CS then she should just go full throttle and ask for CS and a traditional custody arrangement as him as the custodial parent. JMO.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:52 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • awww- come back, please.
    i have so many questions

    why is it natural for the BF's kids to hate the woman's child.
    When I blended a family the only reason the other kids hated my kids was because their mother was a total psycho twat who told bizarre, implausible stories.
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:57 PM on Aug. 7, 2013

  • IMHO- if the BF is causing problems for the child
    The father HAS to protect the child and should take out a second mortgage, donate plasma, sale everything that isnt nailed down in his home to protect the kid.

    Just because the kid loooooves Mommy, it doesn't mean mommy is in the child's best interest
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 12:15 AM on Aug. 8, 2013