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My 9 year old son and I had a huge argument the other evening. I had told him several times to quit being so aggresive. He didn't listen and ended up in his room for the rest of the night. Things happened and he hits me in my arm (ON PURPOSE). Do you think he needs some kind of juvenile anger management? When he apologized, I asked him why he had done those things, he said that he "just felt like he had too." My question is "Is this normal 9 year old behavior?"

I had given him spelling worksheets to work on. When I left his room, he yelled "I HATE YOU GUYS" I just ignored it. I walk to his room a few minutes later and he is throwing his sisters tea set on the floor. So I took the worksheets away from him told him that he had lost that privilege. I told him it was time for bed. He got very upset and started screaming NOOOOOOO. So I turned off the lights and left his room. The next thing I know he is walking into the living room and trying to get his worksheets back. I told him NO again and took him by the arm was taking him back to his room. He jerks his arm out of my hand and hits me in my arm (ON PURPOSE)!!! So not knowing what to do I took off my belt. Tried to bust his butt, missed, and its now bedtime! (AGAIN) He came out of his room a little later bawling his eyes out and apologized! His dad works out of state 75% of the time. I am a small woman and he's my size.

 
Shaunnac792

Asked by Shaunnac792 at 6:34 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (9)
  • went thru that same issue 2 years ago he was 8, yes the first response is to spank that behind but you know all the advise in the world is not going to work for you, first of all you know your child better than anyone especially if you talk with them, so you know what will work with your child and what wont with your child. so you pick the appropriate punishment for your son. Yes they are going thru their own issues so take that in to consideration also. but sometimes the punishment should fit the crime!
    sweetangles

    Answer by sweetangles at 3:13 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Sorry, if my child hit me, he would be picked his as* up off the floor. You're the parent, take control. Right now, he has it. Right now, he is 9. Imagine what will be happening when he is 16 and bigger than you. Beat him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • And my belt woud be your anger management. What is with that? Just a child that needs to be beat!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • even if a child hits you you cannot hit him back....it amazes me that you can sit here and say that you went to hit your child with a belt.....so let me get this straight his punishment for hitting (which is bad) is being hit......that makes sense.....
    Lillette

    Answer by Lillette at 6:52 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • oh lord! here we go! I will get the popcorn!
    Ihatelaundry

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 6:55 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • First of all, I would explain to him just how very disappointed that I was about his decision to hit his own mother. I would take his privileges away for one full week, and stick to it!! As far as spanking him, I wouldn't do that now since the moment has passed. Going forward, if he ever does that again. I would spank him. I didn't say beat to the tune of child abuse, but I sure would spank his behind and serve his suspension of privileges for the week as well. Good luck!
    NewHorizon09

    Answer by NewHorizon09 at 7:15 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • I think I might consider talking to a counselor at his school or somewhere. There is some reason he is acting that way (maybe cause his dad is gone most of the time) and you need to find out why now, and then decide how to take appropiate actions to resolve the behavior before it gets worse.
    bearysweet2008

    Answer by bearysweet2008 at 8:16 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • You should never hit, strike or even threaten those things to your child. It makes no sense. You wonder why they hit? Well, DUH! All kids act out. Don't make it into such a production with threats of spanking you child with a belt. (and taking off your belt to try and spank him does constitute a threat since you were not successful.) I think if you have to resort to that then you need an outsiders perspective. I would deff. talk to his teachers and the school counselor.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Going back to the original behavior on the part of the little 9 year old boy....It sounds like pretty normal behavior to me, actually. He didn't want to do the worksheet, he got frustrated and he acted out. Mom tried to punish him...he got frustrated and hit your arm. Not acceptable, but not exactly shocking either. He also realized the whole thing had gotten out of hand which he expressed by coming out crying and apologizing....So based on this one incident, I don't think he sounds particularly out of control. However, if you feel out of control and you feel like the two of you have some negative patterns then some counseling would be a good idea for both of you to learn better ways of dealing with each other.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:20 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

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