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Have you, a plus size, dated a man who normally only dates thin women?

i am a size 14. but I am flabby and not toned at all. his ex is a size 00. he said he only ever dated thin women but we are starting to date. how do i not feel self-conscious?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Aug. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You shouldn't.... you don't have to compare yourself to anyone.

    I am not considered a plus size, but I did date a man that made it clear he was only interested in small women. He said he hated that women lied about their size on dating websites. He met them in public and then would confront them if they were not what they said.... He was an asshole though... LOL!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:12 PM on Aug. 9, 2013

  • Why does this question sound familiar?

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:14 PM on Aug. 9, 2013

  • I'm an 18/20 and was really nervous when I started dating last year. Knowing that someone new was going to see my no-longer-25 body was hard. But when I realized that he really liked me, and liked kissing me, all that nervousness went away and I became a VIXEN in the bedroom! I was right back to being my young, confident self, but now I knew what I was doing in bed! The relationship didn't work out, but the sex was great and we're still friends (no benefits, by my choice).

    If you're still nervous after the big kissing, hot & heavy, but not sex date then you've either gotta just swallow the nervousness and go for it OR he's really not the right guy for you. Trust your gut. You should feel treasured and comfortable. Good luck!
    KPBMom

    Answer by KPBMom at 11:19 PM on Aug. 9, 2013

  • Anybody who cares about a partner's size, weight, tone,etc, except if there are health issues that should be tactfully addresse, isn't worth going out with. And people who are just dating and not in serious long term relationships shouldn't even be freaking out about someone's health issues, as it's really not their business.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:21 PM on Aug. 9, 2013

  • Why the hell would he even say that?
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 11:55 PM on Aug. 9, 2013

  • it was just a convo. he wasn't saying it about me. we weren't even dating at the time.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Aug. 10, 2013

  • I guess most(if not all) of my husband's past relationships have been with women who were smaller. I don't think about it much, I don't really think about his exs at all. I don't compare myself to him and he doesn't either.


    Our relationship isn't about our pasts but about the now. People fall in love with different types of people for different reasons and their "tastes" change.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:07 AM on Aug. 10, 2013

  • I struggled with the same thing as my SO is significantly thinner than me and his previous relationships were with women thinner than me. But I finally took on the thoughts of the other moms on here that I shouldn't compare myself to his past gf's and that my looks aren't everything.
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 1:39 AM on Aug. 10, 2013

  • I have to wonder why he said it. I don't worry about whether I'm bigger or smaller than the other women a guy has dated, but I think it might bother me a bit if he brought it up, depending on how it was brought up.

    If it seemed like it was coming up because he's more focused on the physical than anything else, I'd probably reconsider the relationship - not because I don't think I'd measure up, but because I wouldn't want to be with someone who, at our ages (I'm in my mid-thirties), still thinks the physical is more important than anything else.

    If it was just mentioned as a passing thing (like you mentioned you've never dated a blond guy before and he says his ex-girlfriends have all been super thin), then I'd probably just ignore it.

    I definitely wouldn't let it bother me, though. I'm me and if someone doesn't appreciate me for me, then that's their problem, not mine.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:02 AM on Aug. 10, 2013

  • to be honest skinny doesn't mean someones a good person. maybe his size 00 were superficial selfish women. maybe he sees you as a better woman size does not matter when it comes to who you are attracted to. if hes attracted to you its because you are a catch don't feel self conscious.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 10:37 AM on Aug. 10, 2013

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