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I need advice for teens that have one set of parents who want them to break up.

the boy is 17 and the girl is 15. the boy's parents did not want him to date the girl from the start and have used several excuses for why they should break up. the kids are happy and devout Christians and only do supervised house dates as it is. they never go places except Church. they adore each other and are well behaved. there is no sex at all.(yes, confirmed). the boy will be going away to college this fall(in 6 months). his parents now state that they want him to focus on college and not a girlfriend he left behind. they say the girl will be un-happy and won't be able to enjoy her highschool life if she is expected to wait for him. they have banned the boy from seeing her. the kids are miserable and don't understand why they are being ripped apart or punished when they haven't done anything except enjoy each other's company. they are miserable. the girl is my daughter and I don't know how to help. any advice? thank you.

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Bunny109

Asked by Bunny109 at 6:54 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (5)
  • Dang, that is not good on his parents part. As for you, be there for her and for him too. You sound like a good mom, and let things happen. If they are miserable without each other, you know they are going to find a way to be together, thats a given. Tell a teen they can't do it, and what do you know, there they go doing it.I would personally let him come to visit if he wants too, I wouldn't bar him from it. If she asks can he come over, let him, this is your home, not the other parents and you can allow him to come over.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:00 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • they are just looking out for there son i know in most states it is illegal for someone being 18 too date someone under age so maybe that is why his parents are acting this way right now sense he is almost of age and your daughter is not i would explain too her that she is still young and has lots of time too have a boyfriend and if he is who she is meant to be with then she will be in time
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Yes it does become a large concern with the boy turning 18. I'm wondering why you dont want more for your daughter than a serious relationship though. Wont she too be going to college? Long distance relationships are very, very trying on anyone. I know several boys just like the boy you describe, very sheltered and controlled,under the name of religion, boy when they hit college they really went crazy with their new found freedom. It may just turn out you may not like him so much anymore. He will be doing alot of things you shouldn't want your daughter doing. But I am in no way saying they should not communicate. Needless to say, he will be 18 and doing pretty much what he wants to soon anyway. So you can still allow him over.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Just tell her that this isn't a personal attack on her. Although to her it will seem like that Many parents feel the same way this boys parents do and it may not have a thing to do with religion. It is just that they are dedicated to his future education, and want to ensure that he is too. All you can really do for your daughter is comfort her, and not disrespect his parents wishes. They do have a right to raise their son the way they think is best. I know it is hard, but at 15 she has a lot of things she can and should focus on. It is no different than if you decided she should not date until she is 16 or out of high school. This is really between him and his parents. You cannot fix it for her. Comfort her and encourage her to focus on her own activities as well. I really think you need to help her to respect his relationship with his parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Thank you for your replies, but I think I may have been misunderstood by some. I did not expect (or want) their relationship to last forever. I just expected it to go through a natural progression. I fully expected that when the boy went away to college, they would drift apart or break up. my daughter will go to college and plans to be a bio chemist. both kids have very, very high IQ's. it just breaks my heart to see them both hurting and not understanding what they did wrong. please don't think me inconsiderate or a bad mom. I just hate seeing my baby hurt.
    Bunny109

    Answer by Bunny109 at 9:52 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

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