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4 Bumps

Have a 20 year old daughter who is very depressed, unhappy, and just miseable. I cannot do enough for her. She has many socail issues that has caused her friendships to fail. I have taken her to

She has been to several drs over the year - with no one labeling her with any certain problem etc. Mainly depression/aniexty. Due to this in high school in her senior year she started using drugs. First the weed, then the pills. Here we are 3 years later and now she does as she pleases. I say stay home - she goes out. I say be home - and she does not. She is unsafe She is with people that all smoke weed etc., and do not even live close by. I am very worried. She has gone to counciling to say this has not helped. She has gone to college - to come back with more xantax. Its endless. Now she treats me like shit. She does not respect me or does one thing She had everything she ever wanted as well Beautiful home, pool, car etc ., as well.
I took the car away as she was driving high She sold her new apple phone for money. And yes, she does work!!!! She needs help - but refuses to go etc. Again she is 20 and a

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patty706

Asked by patty706 at 3:38 PM on Aug. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • So set up a time when she needs to move out,whether it's 3,6,9,12 months etc,and then evict her
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:44 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • She is an adult and she may need a bit of tough love, I just hope for her sake and yours that it doesn't cost her or someone else their life. She is young and dumb. We all have been at one time.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 3:46 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • Kick her out. Not to be unkind but she is a grown up and if she can make grown up decisions to do drugs she can find her own place to do them. Sometimes love is not enough.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 3:51 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • You have said it yourself: I can't do enough for her.
    She needs to do for herself and you stop enabling her. By doing everything for her you are undermining her own self esteem.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:52 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • Time to tell her to move out. She does not want to help herself. You need to stop helping her. What you are doing is not working. Give her ___ a days or months to get out. When that time is up. Change the locks on the doors.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:55 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • She needed rehab years ago. Not just a counseling program but an intensive in-patient detox. Unfortunately you cannot do anything about that now. So give her a deadline. She's out on that deadline. And the only help you can give her in the future is to pay for rehab.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:06 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • Seriously, I was going to write just what Dardenella did. You said it yourself; you can't do enough for her. A car, a pool, a beautiful home, that stuff is irrelevant. I agree she needs to stand on her own two feet, or fall on her face. As hard as it is as a mom to let a grown kid make destructive decisions and pay the consequences, some of them seem to only learn the hard way.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:17 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • The only way a true addict will get better, is when they hit rock bottom. As long as you are providing her with that cushion from complete failure, she won't try to get better. You need to give her notice to get into a program, or get out. GL to you & your family. I know how addiction can effect all involved.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:26 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • Lock the doors. See ya later.
    Her problem needs to become HER problem. Not yours, not anyone elses. HERS.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 7:01 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

  • What has happened in her short life to make her unhappy, depressed and miserable?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:31 PM on Aug. 11, 2013

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