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My husband is leaving me, i have no idea what to do...

We have been together over 10 year, married for 7 and have a 3 yr old. It is not a complete surprise, we have been having problems for a while but at the end of the day we were ALWAYS there for each other. Always Best Friends.. I am so sad all of the time, I feel so empty and confused and lost. I don't know which way to turn right now. The only bright light I have is my son. Any advice at all would be appreciated..

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2073girl

Asked by 2073girl at 12:00 PM on Aug. 13, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Get an attorney ASAP, you need to make sure you & your son's rights are not violated.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 12:03 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • Find an attorney.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:05 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • get an attorney, get alimony and child support and find a way to be strong for your son. You cant be sad all of the time with a child to raise.
    luvmygrandgirl

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 12:10 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • Unfortunately, these gals are correct. AFTER you speak to an attorney, you do need to get some counseling. I mean real counseling, not just going to your Dr. seeking anti-depression meds. Get some counseling so you can grieve, get over it and get on with your wonderful life!!!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:14 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • First, I'm sorry you have to go through that. Can't be easy. It's okay to be sad.. Is part of the grieving process.. Your letting go of a dream and future you had planned for yourself and having to ale on the realization of being a single mom (at least for the time being). But you can't curl up in a ball and cry everyday. You need to get up, brush yoursel off, find an attorney, seek counseling and take the steps needed to be a strong mom for that baby boy of yours! Good luck
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 12:57 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • Why is he leaving?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:16 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • I'm sure he has several reasons for leaving but the main reason is for a while I had become depressed and was having some health problems, went to drs, got all sorts of answers finally it was discovered I have PTSD.. I know it kinda sounds stupid, but it can really mess with you. Just when I was starting to go for counseling, he said he just couldn't handle it.. My symptoms have improved 1,000x's and he actually moved back in for a while but he couldn't handle what had happened to me and thought I was lying to him for years but the truth was I didn't really remember it, what I did remember I thought I was over.. Problem was I was raised Catholic, I was 14 and my answer for 'handling it' was NEVER telling anyone. So now that I am dealing and understanding things I have done or do, he thinks I'm making excuses.. I never sleep, literally, I cant eat, but the worst part my son is as confused as I am..
    2073girl

    Comment by 2073girl (original poster) at 1:33 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • Maybe more time away will help him to understand things better.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:37 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • Continue the counseling. And it is NOT stupid to still be having trouble with PTSD.

    Sorry your best friend is being a jerk.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:19 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • It doesn't sound stupid. (Just so you know.) And it makes sense that you are piecing together your LIFE, in a way. That things are more comprehensible & the story makes more sense (even the stuff that never made sense because it wasn't consistent with your intentions, feelings & deepest wishes.) Also, getting more in touch with your actual feelings in the moment (rather than habitually & unconsciously dissociating from them) brings healing & relief, but it also is likely to "stir things up" a certain amount because it increases the likelihood that you will RESPOND to your feelings (since you're feeling them!) and honor things that before, you might have been completely out of touch with. So things you were fine with before might be triggers. So it can complicate life (both for you AND your partner.)
    Being a partner to a survivor can be very challenging. It also can trigger THEIR "stuff" & mess with denial that's been in place.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:19 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

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