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For those who have had miscarriages . . .

My neighbor was pregnant, around 6 months. She had told me the baby had some health issues and she was going in for surgery in utero to fix a hole in the baby's heart, among some other health concerns. Then I didn't see her for a few weeks. I saw her today and she no longer looks pregnant, where before she had a bump she's now back to her almost flat stomach. We aren't great friends but we are neighbors. Should I acknowledge her loss or wait until she says something? I don't want to upset her by saying something if she'd rather not talk about it, but I don't want her to think I'm unsympathetic by saying nothing.

 
missanc

Asked by missanc at 10:36 PM on Aug. 13, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 43 (163,394 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You might ask her husband and express your concern and ask if there is anything you can do.
    I lost 4 in that time frame and it is very hard but it is very hard when people act as though nothing has happened when it is obvious that something has.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:47 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • Maybe just send a nice card inviting her to coffee or something? Just as a "Hey I'm here if you need me" kind of thing.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:06 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • I think the card and the lemon bars would be good. She'll know why you're bringing them, but you don't have to say anything directly. If she wants to talk, she'll know you're thinking of her.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:59 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • I like the card & goodies idea too. Then she can call you or come down when she's ready to talk. How sad. But how nice that she has a good neighbor to talk to.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:44 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • I would feel uncomfortable asking and would wait for her to talk about it.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:38 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • I wouldn't bring it up. Does she wave when she sees you? Or does she just ignore you? Maybe next time you two notice each other, start up a pleasant conversation and I like the coffee idea, minus the "if there's anything I can do", since y'all aren't too close. Wait till she brings it up.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 11:18 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

  • We always wave and if we're both outside and not going somewhere we'll walk towards each other and chat - she's 2 doors down and the lots are large. I think I'll take her a "thinking of you" card with some lemon bars. Would that be too much?
    missanc

    Comment by missanc (original poster) at 11:25 PM on Aug. 13, 2013

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