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Mother in law playing favories with grandkids

so ever since my sister in law had her baby shes had her mom watch her kid while she works cause her moms home which makes sense and is very nice of my mother in law to do that and then shortly after 4months later my daughter was born and I rarely ever asked her to watch her or any of my other kids, my youngest is now 2 and both my husband and I work and the other kids will be starting school again and we really don't want to get state assistance for daycare cause were trying to get off all our help but it really makes me mad when my mother in law says she cant watch my child for such n such reason but watches her other grandchild idk what to say or do I try so hard to keep my kids involves with family but its like they don't want anything to do with them and it really. I don't know what to do or how I should feel or approach this cause im really hurt that she treats my kids differently when clearly my sister in law makes enough plus her husband to afford child care for her 1 child

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Aug. 14, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Your husband handles it. "Mom, we could use some help here."

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:57 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • hes tried that as well and its like we have to quilt her to watch her and I don't want to do that

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:08 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • ?? Don't understand your response. But if your husband has already tried, then accept that this is the way it is and it won't be changing. You'll have to find another option.

    Grandma is only hurting herself here in the long run. Your daughter will see the favoritism and will respond in kind to Grandma.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:13 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • Some things you just cant change, and kids do notice. Let it be, find others who can fill the "grandparent" roles in your children's lives. For my daughter, it's a couple at church who have become Nanna and Papa. My daughter is five, and she's started asking why my parents don't see her much and why my mom ignores all of us if we run into them at a restaurant or somewhere. I just tell her some people are unhappy and don't know how to be good friends.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:34 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • Punctuation is important.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:59 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • She said she would watch SILs daughter first but does not feel that she can handle more that that,. It seems perfectly reasonable to me. If you had gone to her first and asked first your sister in law would probably be saying the same

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:24 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • Look, kids grow up with great relationships with their grandparents without them EVER having had to look after them! Grandma is not, in any way, spoiling her relationship with her grandchild.

    Dardenella is right, your SIL asked first so she got first dibs. Your MIL probably doesn't feel she can handle more than one. Also, if she's babysitting all day long, do you really think she'd feel inclined to babysit another baby at the weekends, in the evenings, etc. She has a life of her own. Being a grandmother doesn't immediately make you a built-in babysitter.

    Please stop comparing because you'll only upset yourself over things that you cannot change.

    Answer by goldpandora at 4:43 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • PS - do you invite your MIL to come over and visit? Do you take the baby to see her? Do you include your MIL in outings with your child? Or do you just want a babysitter? Work on making her enjoy being with you and the baby and you might find that she offers to help once in a while.

    Answer by goldpandora at 4:45 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • IS this just a babysitting issue, or is she like this toward your children in other ways?

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:07 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

  • IS this just a babysitting issue,

    after this line: "clearly my sister in law makes enough plus her husband to afford child care for her 1 child"
    It sounds more like a money/ jealousy issue

    who tends the kids now?

    Answer by feralxat at 10:12 AM on Aug. 14, 2013

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