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Transgender child, was a girl in 1st grade, now into a boy in 2nd grade adult content

my daughter is having a play date, the girls will be in first grade this fall
the mom, is friends with other family that has a child going into 2nd grade- this child will be a boy this school year, was a girl last one. The mom told me that school is doing everything to make the child's transition smooth and has sent out a letter to just the kids that will be in 2nd grade, but not the whole school, as they feel they do not want to make it more than it is. She told me so, if and when i hear some things from other parents i can be prepared to direct these people to the parents themselves to answer any questions. 

1) how would you react/feel

2) what do you say (given you are not closed minded yourself) to any closed minded adults that might say something negative about it. While picking up and dropping off- people talk, and some will be bigoted assholes (they might not share these thoughts with all in line, but there very well could be some buzz about it)

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Asked by fiatpax at 3:41 PM on Aug. 15, 2013 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I would still let my child play with them anyway. It doesn't really matter to me.

    I'm glad the school is doing whatever they can to help make this child feel welcomed & not shunned. If any parents have something to say that is negative, then I would ask them how exactly it effects THEM? And tell them they should live & let live. Then I would feel sorry for their children, b/c you know they would be brought up in that kind of home where tolerance is lacking.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:51 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • 1) they are still a little person so I wouldn't care what gender they were.
    2) If anyone made a nasty comment about this situation to me at School, I'd just say "you know he is a very nice child". Then I'd walk away & remember to never look at that person who said it ever again & make it a point.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:54 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • i would let my play with him too,= they are not in same grade so unlikely
    and i will explain to her as simple as i can if and when she says anything about it

    i was instructed that the parents of the child want all parents who have less than positive opinions to speak directly to them
    and i will do so. first i guess i will have to find out who to direct them to, but thinking this will become apparent quickly

    hoping there is not much talk about it

    agree that kids will accept well, and some parents too
    but some parents will not be so kind and will taint their children

    crossing fingers that this community is less bigoted than i think they are

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 3:56 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • good point paulie lover

    impossible to ever look at someone the same if they said something small minded about the situation

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 3:57 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • 1) Probably pissed off at the idea that anyone should be saying anything about a child based on gender identity.
    2) It would be hard to respect he wishes of the child's parents and simply direct those with closed minds to speak to least without giving my own opinion of how bigoted they are first.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 3:58 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • kind of dealing with a similar situation
    is the kid masculine at all?
    DD's friend has decided to become male- but is still running around with very feminine behaviors. We keep slipping up and using female pronouns because of the feminine attributes :(

    1) don't care
    2) because i would have to deal with these people for many years would consider a subtle southern dismissal, i.e. Bless Your Heart.

    Answer by feralxat at 3:58 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • I would remind the bigoted asswipes that have less than pleasant things to say that Karma is one hell of a bitch and you hope people are more understanding when they face issues with their children that people do not understand or approve of.

    My sd is taking hormones now to become a male and while I do not pretend to understand all of the why's and hows and such, I love HIM just the same. he has changed his name and I forget sometimes like feral and refer to as she, this is huge for all of us and tons of family are shunning my SD, I was brought up not to accept homosexuality but how in the world do you turn your back on your child? Not in my nature or my heart to believe that my God would want me to treat my child that way.

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 4:08 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • 1) I wouldn't think anything of it.
    2) I'd probably say something to people who say negative things and tell them to talk to the child's parents and learn something before spouting their bullshit.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 4:16 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • I wouldn't think anything about letting my children play with him. I am passionate about LBGT rights, and so many teen suicides happen because they feel there is nobody to listen to them.
    I do wonder if it would have been easier for him to just go to a new school, hopefully the parents can keep their mouths shut, but I am sure that kids will openly wonder, the why and how of it, if not be downright cruel to him.
    I would have a hard time not socking a dumb person in the mouth, but then again I doubt that any parent I know would say something unkind about him to me, because it is well known my stance on these kinds of matters.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:23 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

  • I wouldn't be bothered in the least. I just care about whether a child is a nice and kind person and not a bully or two faced.

    I would have a really hard time not flipping out on someone who said something ignorant about him or his parents. I'm glad the school is being understanding and the parents sound like they truly care about their child.

    Answer by Nos4 at 5:40 PM on Aug. 15, 2013

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