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Regain my husband's trust

I'm a 25 year old married women. Ours was a love marriage. Recently I lied to my husband and went out with a male colleague once. My husband found out and was really frustrated and angry. He even contemplated a breakup. I apologised for having lied to him. The only reason why I lied was because he does not like me going out with male colleagues alone. Now he has lost his complete faith and trust on me. He has given me a 2nd chance, I want to win his trust back. Sometimes he becomes very quite and does not speak to me. I know its my mistake. Now I want to rectify things between us. Please advise.

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Asked by findlove at 8:32 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • honestly you have to earn his trust back.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 8:35 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • There really isn't much to do, the damage is done at this point.
    Just make sure that you tell him where you're going, why, and give him calls from wherever you are. And I wouldn't put myself in any situation where there are other guys out, like going out to eat with a few collegues or friends where guys are involved, unless hubby comes with.

    Answer by mrseum at 8:38 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Actually, I'd be asking a few more questions. Like why is he so mad if nothing happened? And why is he so insecure about you interacting with other guys? If nothing happened then and it was only once, he needs to get over it! He was really thinking about ending a Marriage because of a lunch?!?! Somethings not right here. And no offense, but by your wording in the question (ours was a love marriage) leads me to believe you are probably from a culture that usually arranges marriages of convience and therefore tends to be less lenient with female/male friendships. Right? So it sounds like he is just overreacting (due to how he was brought up) and if yours is truly a love marriage, he would forgive you without you having to grovel!

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 9:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • You went out? that's it? If he can't deal with that then he has little trust in you to begin with. Now, if you had an affair with the colleague then that might be a horse of a different color. I'd tell him to get over himself and deal on an adult level with adult stuff. He's being a long as you didn't sleep with the other guy.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:53 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Wait, a male colleague, not a hot friend or an ex-boyfriend? Are you not allowed to have male friends? That kind of sounds like a red flag and the fact that you're so upset about him getting mad about something so trivial sounds like he has a bit too much control over you. I don't mean to be rude, but it sounds like he's a little too controling, I wouldn't worry about regaining his trust I would worry more about getting him to treat me like a person.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

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