So dh and I ended up arguing tonight, and quite frankly, it's getting old. Then it seems like when I tell him I would love to have some me time, he always seem to end up making the argument about himself and how I should feel sorry for him because he works 3 days a week, and he drives a few hundred miles and listens to a bunch of men complaining. I used to work in the same business before our dd was born. We both worked for a armored car company, or "cash in transit vehicles" but they were different employers. Its harder to drive that much distance then many people realize. And it is exhausting. But I am a stay at home mom, and I know many of you are too and realize its just as hard of a job as others are. But we work 365 of the year! I love my 4 yr old so, so much, and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if anything should happen to her.
I have nobody, just my husband. No family, very few friends, and the woman on here. I can count on one hand on how many times I have had been away from her for more than 3 or 4 hrs. And you know what? Its never happened in 4 yrs. But he has gone hunting up north and been gone for 3 or 4 days. That and the fact he did use to work full time, so he got that 'break' too.
He complains she doesn't listen to him, unless he yells at her. For example tonight. All day today I had to be at the SOS to get my drivers license renewed. Was there for 3 hrs! With a 4yr old. Then HAD to go grocery shopping, had no food whatsoever. By the time I got home got the groceries inside and put away, I was about to blow a gasket!! DD had one of her days just being contrary, and stubborn. I was soooooooooooo damn frustrated! Telling her to stay out of the kitchen, then tried to distract her, and gave her some wooden spoons to play with. That worked for worked for about 5 min, and she was at it again. So I put her in her room and turned on cartoons, worked for about 10 min.Then dh comes in, and he plays with her for a few min or so until dinner was ready.
By now I have dinner done, and we are eating. I was hoping she would calm down. She wanted to play with daddy again and he tells her it late, we just got done eating blah blah, and he just wants to relax. She persists, he ends up yelling at her. I tell him all she wants to do is play with him because she hasn't seen him all day cause he had to work. He tells me thats the only way she will listen to him is when he yells at her. So then he goes into the computer room. All I wanted was a half hour of peace. So gave up and sent dd to bed early. Oh ya that was a pain in the ass!!! Screaming, crying "no mama!". So then he comes out, and tell her to listen to to mama. That was it, the cherry on the cake, I blew my lid like Mt St Helens. I look at him and say "so now you do something? Seriously?" He looks at dd and tells her to go to bed, she starts crying and he starts in claiming HE is fed up, and maybe he should start drinking. Mind you, he has never drank before. But then he says he doesn't have any money. I look at him and tell him "Why don't you go right on head. It will only take you about $5 to $10 for you to get drunk,I recommend the long island ice tea. It should only cost you maybe about $5 and guarantee to get you drunk before you finish it. Then when you have the hang over, I will make sure to cook eggs and bacon for you to eat!!!" He looked at me strangely at that. I just smiled, gave him the keys and said see ya! He never did go.
He then just goes to what I thought was the computer room, but he went to bed. Once again, "not talking about it. I went over to dd and pulled her into my lap, gave her kiss and rub her back for about 20 mins. I got my little angel back, well until tomorrow. Then I put her into bed. Then I made cookies. And the were very fucking good with ice cream.
When he complains she doesn't listen to him, I tell him if he spends more time with him, she probably will, am I correct on that? He is going to a car show of sorts tomorrow and its his b-day. I like car shows also, but when we go, there is a big park where dd wants to play at. I really do not mind taking her to play there, but its for 3 or more hours! And honestly, I do get bored. Selfish? Probably. But if I bring up back to the show, she is ok for awhile, but she gets bored and wanted to go back to the park. IDK anymore. I feel like a bad mom when I say I get bored at the park, and she enjoys it sooo much, but damn it, I would love to sit and chat with our friends to. And not for him to say.."All I want to is enjoy this, and not to have to listen to dd cry and fits of temper tantrums and not listen.."
I am so sorry this is long, but I have nobody else to talk to who understands what's it like to be a mom. So thank you so very much for reading this. It does mean a lot.
Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Aug. 17, 2013 in General Parenting
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