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2 Bumps

How would you even broach this subject with her??

I have a friend who had a gastric bypass last year. She went from 263 to 155 lbs in 6 months. She's 5'7" by the way.
In the last 3 months,she has dropped to 110 lbs,and quite frankly,has started to look like a Holocaust survivor. 2 weeks ago she had a tummy tuck,so she's probably even lighter now. A few days ago,she passed out and hit her head,and her kids had to call 911. She blamed it on doing too much too soon after her surgery,but at the time she was doing dishes.
At 135,she looked wonderful,and healthy
Our mutual friend J wrote a post about Body Dysmorphic Disorder,and didn't name names,but I knew she was referring to our friend,so i messaged her. We're both dying to say something,but how do you tell some one you think they have BDD and anorexia? The thing that really grinds my gears is that everyone is egging her on and telling her she looks gorgeous.Would you contact her husband?


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 11:44 AM on Aug. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think some good (and safe) questions you can ask would be what kind of proteins her doctors have her on, but also "What do your doctors suggest is your ideal weight?" <-- That one will tell you both about the doctor's involvement, but also how well she is listening to them. Also, "At what weight will you be done losing?" "How soon will you be focusing on maintaining weight instead of losing?" Depending on how she answers, you might have an opening to express your concerns without her feeling cornered.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:37 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • I would not bring this up to her husband, I would invite her out for coffee, and say how proud you are that she has lost so much weight, but are concerned about her possibly going a bit overboard. See what she says, other than express concern to her I think that is about all you can do.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 11:47 AM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • TLC has a series called, "My 600 lb life".
    They have done a 2 hour? special on this woman.
    She had the same issue.
    She is back to a healthier weight but at one point she was just...ick from the weight loss.

    Perhaps a little research may help you make a decision.


    Answer by feralxat at 12:00 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • Maybe contact the people closest to her (family and concerned friends like yourself) and discuss her drastic weight loss and the dangers she faces if she loses more. It may come down to staging an intervention.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:07 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • Wow... wish I had some insight for you, but I have no idea. Sorry.

    Hope you get some good advice!

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 11:47 AM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • Wow. It sounds like the issues are different, but the distorted body thing is still going strong. I don't really have anything to add because you've gotten excellent advice, but here's a bump.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:20 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • I really like JJK's suggestion. And if your private discussion with her seems to go nowhere, then I would indeed talk with her husband.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:10 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • I'll have to talk to J and see if she'd like to do a sneaky intervention type lunch meeting.
    I'm in fear that one of these days she'll pass out and her heart will stop.
    She's so proud of being a size 4,and I think she'd be even happier as a 0 or 2
    I was in shock. She posted a pic in June,and she was skinny,but still healthy,and posted one yesterday and her breasts were all but gone!

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 12:06 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • If her doctors are ignoring the signs of her obsession,they need to lose their licenses.

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 12:10 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • i would just let it go and trust that her doctor is watching her for any signs. the passing out should have triggered a followup appointment at the least. as for her looking "like a holocaust survivor" i think you might be getting ahead of yourself because you are used to seeing her at a larger weight so her new looks can be shocking to you since you're not used to it.

    Answer by AzaleaRose at 1:08 PM on Aug. 19, 2013