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4 Bumps

Final Wishes for Aging Parents

My father-in-law was recently diagnosed with liver cancer that has spread throughout his body and tonight he was found unconscious in his home with renal failure. He woke up a few minutes ago. The problem is no one knows what his final wishes are and where he does business with to tie up lose ends when he does die. He lives alone and my DH is his only living child but he won't talk to us because he thinks we are just kids, btw, we are both 29 and are perfectly capable of handling this final affairs when he does pass.

How do I convince him that we are not kids and to trust him with his final affairs or at the very least one of his friends or siblings and give them our information? Do you trust your adult children with this information?


Asked by amandajoy21 at 9:08 PM on Aug. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,553 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would rather have my personal affair in order than leave my kids the mess my father left us.

    If he doesn't, the onus is going to be on you and your family pay for an attorney to handle it.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 9:22 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • I am only 22 and my children are very young but I don't think I have a problem telling my children what I want b4 I pass. I even told my mom what I want in case anything ever happened to me. I don't think you can make him see your not kids anymore. I think he just doesn't want to bother you both wit these things. I'm not much help with any of your other ?s sorry

    Answer by rachel216 at 9:15 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • Has he already taken care of everything with an attorney?

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:22 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • He doesn't sound to me like he is in any sound mind to let you know about his final affairs...just have him sign a power of atty for someone to take care of is unpleasant to even think about it, no one is ever ready to die.....good luck! my mom is 94 and very healthy but we know she probably doesn't have much time....but still she does not want to even talk about final plans....I am sorry you are dealing with this...hugs.

    Answer by older at 9:34 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • Getting him to sign a power of Atty like Older said is a good idea.

    I have two adult children but I have a will and everything is taken care of for them.

    Answer by DJDNY at 10:38 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I hope everything is settled smoothly and easily.

    Answer by Ballad at 10:57 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • Ask him who his executer is.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:31 PM on Aug. 19, 2013

  • How about his primary care doc? That office might have some helpful info on file.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:29 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • Your DH needs to talk to him and at a minmum ask if he has drawn up a will. No pressure....just plant seeds and make the suggestion. And, yes, our kids know all our wishes and where our important papers are.

    Answer by silverthreads at 4:40 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • We have a will, but we haven't updated our final wishes for a while. I asked my husband to write down any place we do business so I'll have that if something happens.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:17 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

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