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Are 2 yr old little boys usually mean?

I met with a woman across the street and she has 3 kids one is 6, 4 and 2. They all play with my daughter. But my dd plays the best with the 2 yr old. Anyway, this little boy is MEAN! And he has a hell of a temper on him as well! Well he will frequently just go by people and pinch him. When he is up to no good and mama see him she will go and take whatever he has that shouldn't be played with. He throws a complete fit. My dd has her days, and OMG does she. Well this boy will throw things, will hit others take other toys out of the other kid's hand. His mom is pretty strict, and he does not appear to be spoiled IMO anyway. The other 2 kids are nothing like him. She is at her wits end, and I have no idea how to help her. When he is around my daughter, he is fairly decent with her, and he does attempt to take her stuff, but she quickly puts him in his place. Its actually quite funny. She uses the 'big girl' voice that eerily sounds like me when I asking/telling her to do something.
But is this normal behavior for a 2 yr old? My dd wasn't like that. She is hard headed, but this little boy, well wow. Ideas??

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Michigan-Mom74

Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:12 AM on Aug. 20, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 34 (66,351 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Yeah sounds like a little boy. My girl was precious at 2. I think it's a gender thing.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 2:09 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • No, it's not always this way. Many times the youngest in a family has things taken away regularly by the older ones and he has few skills to deal with it if the parent isn't around to help or he gets older. It's wonderful your child shares and is a friend.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 4:30 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I have had many 2 year olds in my care over the past 25 years and none of them acted this way.
    GrandmaO2008

    Answer by GrandmaO2008 at 6:42 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • sounds like a 2 yr old...or 3 yr old
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 7:02 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • imo, no....my son isn't mean at all. A little moody sometimes and he gets into everything, but he's not mean.
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 7:40 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I would tend to believe that the mom has not yet discovered the type of effective discipline for this particular child. Oftentimes, parents tend to discipline all their children in the same way, and what is effective with one fails with the next one. Since he is the third, it may be that she was able to successfully discipline the first two in the same way, and she is still trying to use that with the third one, and it's not his style. You might talk to her along those lines. I learned this with our second child, who was the most obstinate, pig--headed little thing ever.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:15 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • "Being mean" is a reaction. Random aggression, like the pinching you mention indicates something or is happening for a reason. My guess in that situation would be that it expresses the agitation he is carrying. This could be from being a youngest child and having older siblings (an embattled feeling), or from having a "pretty strict" mother. What it expresses are his feelings about things, not anything intended by the mom.
    Tension like that also increases the likelihood of throwing things, hitting others & being grabby. These behaviors ALL signal that he is having trouble thinking & being flexible. Feelings are what interfere with a child's flexibility.
    When his mom handles problems by addressing the behavior but not addressing the reasons FOR it, all of that is reinforced & added to. Feelings of alienation, of being misunderstood, of being resisted or disapproved of, all add up to problem behaviors! (In girls AND boys.)
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:18 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • Try this

    But! I wouldn't put it all on gender. Birth order and age may also play a large factor in his socialization skills.

    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 9:27 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I have two sons, 5 and almost 3. And the little one can be a bear. He will hit is his brother for what seems like no reason, but there usually is one. Sometimes, he just wants his attention or he is frustrated by something his brother did. I thought it was just boys being boys, but I have found that it carries into daycare, so I have had to try and find a way for the 3 y/o to express himself other than throwing, hitting and biting. I haven't found the answer totally yet. We do have a lot of time outs.

    As another poster said, it could also be behavior that the older kids impose on him. I have had to discipline the 5 year old as well when he is not being nice to the little one who then retaliates.
    AngZacc

    Answer by AngZacc at 9:49 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • They don't call them the Terrible Two's for nothing.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:58 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

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