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Moms of autistic children(and children with other lifelong disabilities)

How do the parents of the "normal" children treat your kid(s)?
I REALLY hate having to go to anything where the parents are invited to the school,like holiday parties,orientation,field trips
I usually end up in tears
This last May,the kids had their DARE graduation. My son was the only one in class that you can tell has a disability. The kids filed in,and lined up,and from behind me,I hear,"what is wrong with that boy?" my son needed to be led by the hand to the risers,by one of his classmates.
I felt my anger rise,and then my eyes started to sting from the tears
I had to sit there for an hour and a half knowing that the mom behind me just singled out my son to everyone in earshot
When we left,I made sure I gave her the dirtiest look I could muster. She didn't even look sorry
In the 7 years my son has been in school,I have only had 1 parent who doesn't act like my son has the bubonic plague when their kid comes over by mine.And that one was because she has a son with asperger's. All the parents get the deer in the headlights look,and act like they want to grab their kid and run away. Every time I stand there and try to draw them into conversation,and they'll either answer in monosyllables,or stare right through me.
The kids,bless their hearts,have all learned to love him for who he is.
Why can't the parents learn from their kids?


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 10:32 AM on Aug. 20, 2013 in Special Needs

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • a person's life on earth is to learn lessons
    the parents who treat a child (or an adult for that matter) like this, as if they are not as human as other 'normal' children,
    are well...not in an advanced class of learning
    They are beginning their lessons of learning, or maybe repeating because they did not get it in their last life

    but this knowledge, does not make it an easier
    wish we lived in same school district

    big hugs

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:40 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I am sorry you are going through that too, it is ignorance taught and handed down from generation to generation. I have never encountered a parent that was that snooty thank goodness. While mine does not have a noticeable disability, some of her friends and my nephew do. She sees them as normal.

    Sorry you cried, hang in there!
    Heaven forbid any parent who considers their child normal should ever encounter a head injury leading to brain damage or a disfiguring accident.

    Answer by GrandmaO2008 at 10:50 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • your post reminds me why i hate people.

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:59 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I don't have any words of wisdom, I just have virtual hugs. I am so sorry you have to deal with that.

    Answer by kmath at 10:45 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I might add as well, I was happy to see that there were several kids in my grand daughters class last night that have disabilities, some were evident and others only to an adult who knew the child but out of 18 I know there are 4 in her class.

    Answer by GrandmaO2008 at 10:52 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • Speaking as a mom of "normal" kids, I think a lot of people in general are kind of afraid of things they don't understand. They don't know how to tell their kids about Autism because they don't understand it themselves. Instead of trying to understand they just push their kids to play with other "normal" kids so they don't have to learn about it or deal with the questions. That's just my take though. Personally, I prefer my kids to be a little curious and ask rather than automatically treat someone different than the other kids. When they ask me about things I don't understand completely, I give them at least a half assed explanation of what I do understand (enough to make me dangerous), but in a way that my kids understand that it isn't something the other child can control. I try to encourage them to ask questions, but in a diplomatic and kind way instead of blurting something offensive.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:29 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • NEVER had a problem. Not once.

    I would have turned around and said, "He has autism. Do you have any questions?" Make her feel small. Dirty looks don't make people feel small. But killing them with utter kindness and NEVER losing your temper, just being sweet as pie? It works.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:36 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • a neighbor woman will have any child on the block over, except for mine
    one of her children said that her mom thinks xxxx is too loud, and she likes it quiet in her house

    i had half dozen of these kids in my yard, they all decided to go to this other home, and mine was not invited
    come play on my daughters stuff, then not invite her to join at your house

    that women is definitely here on earth to try to learn things that she did not learn in past life
    and she is teaching her daughter the wrong lesson

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:03 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I don't want my kids to ever feel like they can turn their backs on something just because it's different, be it food, experiences or people. Life is about learning and adapting to our surroundings and the people in it. I don't want my kids to be afraid to learn from things they don't already understand.

    I'm sorry that people are A-holes sometimes.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:32 AM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I distinctly remember one time a mom telling her daughter "Don't play with M... he's not like normal kids." This was in preschool. Direct quote. I was seeing red through the tears in my eyes.

    I've gotten the bs of if I discipline him right then he'd be normal (including I can spank it out of him). I've gotten what a nuisance he is... just by toe walking. I've had family yell at him when he doesn't answer questions (some days he talks more than others) or he refuses a hug or backs up into a hug.

    I've heard that I MUST have done something wrong in pregnancy, L&D or infancy or at some other point in childhood... he would be "normal" otherwise.

    Some people just don't understand. Others don't want to. Some refuse to leave their own world where everything is perfect and there way is they only way and anything else should be shut away.

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 12:12 PM on Aug. 20, 2013