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3 Bumps

Do you think if a mother never hears a word from both of her grown children, there is usually a reason behind the adult children having nothing to do with her.

i was just on facebook and reading a situation like this and it made me wonder
what are the odds that both of her children want nothing to do with her

 

either

A) she raised two very ungrateful children, and somehow taught them to not care a lick for others

or

B) she is a hateful person and the adult children realize that a person this toxic, even their own mother, is not worth knowing 

 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 3:15 PM on Aug. 20, 2013 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • I do know someone like this.

    She will end up in a nursing home, alone- or having the family pet gnaw on her carcass
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 5:44 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • In the case of my mother, it's B. She's toxic.

    I was 8 weeks premature because of my mother's alcoholism. Se abandoned me before I was a year old. Growing up, she would get pissed at me for not wanting to spend summers with her, a person I didn't know. After I had kids, she was living a couple houses down and wanted NOTHING to do with her only grandkids. It was a massive imposition to watch them for half an hour while I ran to the store for some groceries.

    About a year ago my sister cut off contact too. I guess Mom called her at work one day (sister's a nurse at the VA hospital) to ask if my sister had an alcohol problem. If that ain't the pot calling the kettle black I don't know what is. It pissed my sister off, no end.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 3:41 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • if it was just one kid, id say A...but when both kids dont want anything to do with you...B.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 3:30 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • Speaking in general, based on all the people I know who have parent/child issues like that, the toxic parents far outnumber the toxic kids, except in situations where the kids are addicts or otherwise involved in something dangerous that requires the parents to enable them for it to continue.

    Thing is, in the addict situation, it's rarely the parent complaining about the relationship in those terms, more that they are sad or desperate for a way to save their kid(s).
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • There could be something that cost her kids to stay away.....
    kyheavensmom

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 3:22 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • the mother was ragging on everyone that was in reach of her, anyone she could be hateful too, did not matter who they were or the topic, just a person full of hate.

    ^^^^^
    If the mother is mad at the world & constantly negative, then I could see why people would avoid her. She sounds like she could be depressed or have a hormonal imbalance. Maybe her kids should contact her Dr. & tell him/her of their concerns.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:34 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I agree with B as well
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:23 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • Most likely B...

    But I have seen some A scenarios....
    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 3:34 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • Actually A or B
    A could be very entitled people (regardless of wealth) and mom can not for some reason continue.
    It could also be the result of a divorce and they have judged it is "all her fault" rightfully so or not.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:48 PM on Aug. 20, 2013

  • I doubt she would appreciate your blessings, probably better to just ignore her, and feel sorry for the misery she has, even though she brought it on herself?
    Being the bigger person, and and will get you far.
    Last night I signed off of Facebook, because I was so "caught" up in it, today is a new day, and I for one am thankful I woke up this morning to see it.
    Lol
    Nice to see you BTW!
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 4:06 PM on Aug. 20, 2013