Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why can't i find a deceased person online?

its really frustrating i'm looking in the online paper in the town he lived in and it shows a variety of towns where pple have died so it should have been in there, its been 2 weeks and everyone's obituary is up to date.

his ex on the other hand, is supposedly a real B and she was handed the rights to his funeral handlings. can she request that his name and funeral stuff not be posted? do people do that? I was told that his family had no clue at the time when he died on a Thursday and they still didn't know by that Monday. i'm starting to wonder if he's even gone.

I didn't get to know his family so I can't really go from there.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Aug. 21, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Obituaries are no longer free notices. The family has to pay for them. The funeral home is under no obligation to publish anything.

    Lots of people choose not to do so for one reason or another. Neither of my parents had a notice; the people who needed to know were informed by phone. Some folks skip the notices so their homes don't get robbed during the service.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:11 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • I believe an obituary is optional, so it's possible she refused to do one.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 4:13 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Obituaries are pretty expensive to publish. Maybe that's why it's not posted or maybe the family wants it to be private.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 4:14 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • You don't mention who the person is; if you know anything about where he went to church or where he worked, you might be able to get info from one of those sources.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:15 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Absolutely. You do not have to publish marriage or divorces or deaths in a paper. Most people do but it is by no means automatic.
    Call the local court house or sheriffs office and ask where you might be able to get this information.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:19 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • that's actually a good point, he had a roommate who stole his car a couple times and was trying to threaten him

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:19 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Are you trying to find out cause of death, or make sure this person has passed away? is fairly up to date - I know someone who died that had their gravesite posted less than a week after burial.


    Answer by Ginger0104 at 5:03 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Your local city clerk's office issues death certificates, you can get one there, but they're not free

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:07 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • It was my grandparent's wishes to NOT have an obit. We honored their wishes & those who knew them best got the word to attend their funerals. A basic obit (no pic) runs around $300.00 Like others said, you can call the county where the person died & get some general info. There may be a charge & some information may not be available if it's not a relative.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:35 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Contact the hall of records for that town they should be able to tell you if there is a death certificate.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:59 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.