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3 Bumps

I feel like the relationship is pointless

I live with my boyfriend and his 3 kids we also have one on the way together. His other kids have no respect for me, they don't listen to what I tell them to do and one in particular is always lashing out, throwing toys, yelling, hitting. He's five. He doesn't have an respect for me I tell him to do something over and over and he still won't want to and fights about anything even food because he feels he shouldn't have to eat what I make. I'm tired of it. I told my boyfriend that I feel like a baby sitter and that he just needed a replacement which is why he got with me. I'm devasted by everything going on and his sons counselor is saying that I'm not wanting to be in the parent role and that's not true. It's just that my boyfriends son has pushed and pushed until I feel like trying to even attempt a parenting bond with him would just keep blowing up in my face. I've tried to take him to do special things but he will only behave long enough to do that and then start acting up again. Anytime I set rules for the kids my boyfriend is always there to say the opposite. He makes me feel as if I get no support and then I realize why his kids won't listen to a thing I say. Why should they when he gives no support. Idk what to do anymore. I'm tired of feeling like I'm just his replacement for his ex wife. His kids are so bad it's to the point I don't want to even watch them when he's at work. The way they act and the things they do are in no way just me being hormonal. He wants me to act like their parent but he gives me no support and anytime I say anything it's always wrong. How does he expect things to work if he's not giving the support I need in front of his children. I just want to lock myself in the bedroom but can't. Should I just call it quits and give up my relationship. I love my boyfriend very very much but I can't go through this crap daily :'(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Aug. 21, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Counseling

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:20 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • His boy is already in counseling and I'm in counseling also outside of that. I don't think my insurance would cover couples counseling

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:25 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Then it depends on whether the two of you value this relationship enough to work for it together. Part of that in my opinion is going to be couples counseling because from what you have written I do not think you have the tools you need as a couple to fix it on your own.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:30 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • COUPLES counseling. You need to go TOGETHER. If he refuses, then you know what the relationship is worth to him and you know that your feeling is correct.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:40 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Curious- do you know any of the reasons he and his ex- split?

    Answer by feralxat at 5:05 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • I am not being rude by asking, but why in the world did you get pregnant, when there was so much going on, you don't say where the mother is, and most 5 year olds are going to act out when changes happen, please do as the others suggested and go to family therapy.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:06 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • It will not get any better.
    How did he get the kids?
    Did you know they acted this ways before you got with him and got pregnant?
    There are a lot of "why did you do these things" leading up to this point.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:20 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • Are you happy?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:59 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • I had no idea how his kids were when he and I got together or even after I had moved in. I want the close bond with all his kids but I just don't think it'll happen. The pregnancy wasn't intentional, Tmi but it was from the pull and pray method. Lately I've not been happy but I'm trying to wait it out and see if it gets better and it hasn't.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:41 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

  • You only get one shot at life. Don't waste your time if he is not treating you like a queen!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:37 PM on Aug. 21, 2013

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