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Raising a child as Transgender??

My husband was out shopping today and saw a child that had longer curled hair, the child was 5. He asked if it was a boy or girl.(or knowing my husband he commented on how cute the girl was) The mother said the child is a boy but they are raising him transgender. That she had bought him both boys and girls(dresses etc) clothes and that when school starts she will be dressing him as a boy some days and as a girl other days.

I thought this was strange mostly because she said SHE would be deciding on when he was a girl and when he was a boy. Not that the child had asked for this or preferred to dress say as a girl.

Am I the only one who thinks this is strange and possibly damaging for the child?

I am all for children not being confined to gender roles, my boy has barbies etc. But for the most part I allow him to determine his wants in that aspect. I don't know.

Answer Question

Asked by tntmom1027 at 12:18 AM on Aug. 24, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 27 (31,955 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Did you make that up?
    Signs of the times.
    I think it's sickening, too.

    Answer by AubreyRed at 12:20 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • I wished I made it up.

    I think it could be damaging because 1: He is of course going to get bullied at school 2: I'm sure it can lead to confusion on his part 3: I am not sure the parents would be open to letting him designate one gender if he wants to. I fear that would "force" him to practice both "until he is old enough to decide".

    Comment by tntmom1027 (original poster) at 12:26 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • I think it's appropriate if the child was born intersex (with signs of both male and female genetalia) but other than that I agree with you.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 12:34 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • I see a lot of heartache in that child's future. I can't even imagine how awful the troubles at school will be, or how confusing life will get.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:55 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • Yes, very wrong. One thing for the parent to not "force" gender on a child (such as only wear blue, play with trucks, etc.) if the child chooses otherwise but to raise a child as both is just insane. Poor kid. Hopefully he realizes sooner rather than later that his parents are crazy and can start makes decisions for himself.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 1:10 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • I agree with tessiedawg .

    Answer by Lobelia at 1:57 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • yikes

    that's crazy.

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:12 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • I'm confused by her statement that "he's a boy but they are raising him transgender." Transgender is a way you are born - not a way you can be raised. So is she saying that he looks like a boy, but is transgender and so they are raising him that way? Or does she not know the meaning of transgender and is trying to say that she wants to raise him without making gender an issue and let him play with what he wants, wear what he wants, act how he wants, etc?

    If the child is actually transgender, then I would say it's great that she's trying to help him be open and figure himself out without trying to force him into a gender box. But if she's trying to be...gender neutral, is the only way I can think of to put it, and this is her way of going about that, I think she might be going about it the wrong way.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:43 AM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • Perhaps he was just a boy with long hair and she was being sarcastic?

    Answer by NotPanicking at 1:54 PM on Aug. 24, 2013

  • No they weren't being sarcastic and my husband said it sounded more like they wanted the child to experience and identify with both genders right now.


    Comment by tntmom1027 (original poster) at 10:08 PM on Aug. 24, 2013

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