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Parents who have full custody, but no specific visitation orders...

Do you allow the birth dad to come and go as he pleases as far as visitation? Just wondering because I put a stop to it happening but on top of that, he doesn't ask, he just gives orders to me as if I am suppose to jump up and do as he says.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Aug. 25, 2013 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • This is why you get a court order.
    My neighbor's "baby daddy" thinks he can show up drunk at 3AM for "visitation" with his daughter.
    You are the custodial parent, you know your child's schedule and what is disruptive and what is not. Have something put in writing, and take a little of that control away from him.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:49 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • We do.
    But we also respect each other's boundaries and the children's schedules.

    We know the best way to make one another do the exact opposite of what we want is to TELL each other how things are going to be...

    Answer by feralxat at 12:54 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • I have full custody and by his own choice, my ex doesn't see the kids. But I made sure to get an order in place specifying exactly what the visitation schedule would be, and for this exact reason. Kids need consistency and stability, and they don't get that when Dad is in and out.

    Take him back to court and get an order in place that says exactly when visitation can occur, and under what circumstances (supervised, unsupervised, overnights or only day visits, where Dad can take them [his home, out of town, out of state, etc.], all that kind of stuff) so that it is all clearly laid out and there is very little that he can actually control. It should really be set so that the only things he can really control are what the kids eat and when, when they go to bed, and the things they do (within the terms of the order) when they're with him. The rest should all be laid out in the order.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 2:22 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • We have an agreement for Friday overnight till 4pm on Saturday and overnight Saturday until 4pm on Sunday. If my son has other plans he does not go.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:52 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • You really should get specific court orders for when he can and can't visit. If he is like this now and you stop him from seeing his child, that will look bad on you if he tries to take you to court.

    Answer by kmath at 1:44 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • Depends on a lot of factors. Where you ever married to the father? Lets just say, if it was me. He wouldn't be ordering me around. We would work out a visitation. Or he would pay to go to court to get visitation..


    Answer by louise2 at 3:05 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • My daughters dad try's to go in and out and as if right now we have no specific visitation. We just talked and worked things out until recently his behavior has become completely unstable so I have filed for a visitation order and a custody order. Even tho in my state mother has custody unless otherwise stated by the courts. My suggestion is to either tell him to step up or get out for good

    Answer by rachel216 at 4:49 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • my Bd and i do not have a court order custody.. he calls and he see's him every couple months since he lives out of state. he's an ass, but i am allowing my 6 year old to make up his own mind about him.. as much as i want to stop him from seeing his dad, i don't because later on in life i do not want my son to resent me for not allowing him to have some type of relationship with him

    Answer by mampanda0422 at 5:13 PM on Aug. 25, 2013

  • get a court order asap...

    Answer by smiley745 at 5:09 PM on Aug. 27, 2013