Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Would you send your kids?

My kids father and I aren't together anymore. I kept the house and he moved in with his mom.

Child Support is garnished and there is NO legal visitation order set.

So their dad thinks he should have the kids every weekend. Ok, understandable since I have them during the week. My concern with this is his moms house isn't exactly the best environment. First of all he dont really have his own room nor is there anywhere for the kids to sleep if they were to go there...unless they sleep with him in the same bed and their 3 and 5. Half the time they don't have electric or use of a restroom. There is several things wrong with this house. I am surprised it hasn't been condemned. Not only that his mom lets random people live in the yard/garage. They have a cousin ( hes 5) who lives there and none of the adults there bother to watch him maybe every hour they go oh wheres...?

The kids dad just thinks I am being so unfair and trying to keep the kids from him. Would you send your kids? Is there anyway this can be worked out  because I don't want to keep the kids from him but I refuse to send them to his moms 

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Aug. 26, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • He can find a suitable location for visitation if it's that important to him. Somewhere with a restroom, separate beds and electricity.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 1:25 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • Why not go through the courts and let them resolve it? I wouldn't send my kids there. Can he pick them up in the morning and drop them off at night, or have visitation at your house?
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:27 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • When my son's father use to rent a room from a friend, and my son went overnight for a visit, they shared a bed. (he was 9 at the time). This was not an issue. But if there is no bathroom, electric cut off every other month, strangers laying around I would not send him there.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:28 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • Letting them sleep the night is asking for a train wreck. That's CRAZY! There are SOOOOO many what if's of DANGER! I would only allow him to have them for the afternoon at a safe place like McDonald's & the park or Library or in your yard or home. Otherwise I'd say he's shit out of luck. You are responsible for their safety & well being don't allow then to go to that home EVER!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:29 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • BTW, if CPS finds your Children sleeping in those conditions you could lose them.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:30 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • I'd feel bad, so many men dont even care to see thier kids. While I wouldn't let them go there I might consider him staying every other weekend at the house if the relationship was okay, for a bit until he can find a better place to live.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 1:33 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • You are not trying to keep his kids from him, but from an unsafe environment. Will he be getting his own place any time soon? In the meantime, I agree that he should be able to see them, but just not overnights & not at his mother's.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:50 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • god no! id be all for him taking the kids somewhere like a restaurant or Chuck E Cheese, but spending the night in a house with questionable electricity and restroom situation...thats just asking for trouble.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 1:51 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • Why not ask the dad to take the kids to a park for the afternoon and let them play, something like that? There's no way I would send my child to a house like you described, especially on a regular basis. Go ahead and be mean if that's what the dad calls it, but no, just no.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:52 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • No, I wouldn't until there's an order. Let him go to court & try to prove he's fit for visitation.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 1:54 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in General Parenting
I love how

Next question overall (Food & Drink)
Freezer Jam

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN