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Do you think a guy's friends is a red flag about the guy himself?

I was dating a guy and we broke up now because of something stupid. However, looking back at the relationship, most of his friends were not respectful of women. His best friend cheats on his wife all the time (my ex-boyfriend told me this) and writes to women in prison and sends them money. He has two other "good friends" that also cheat on their wives and happily admit it. Im wondering if the guy (ex-boyfriend) is probably the same way? Should I be glad that we broke up?

 
Kim370

Asked by Kim370 at 4:54 PM on Aug. 26, 2013 in Relationships

Level 8 (267 Credits)
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Answers (17)
  • I think a person's friends can be a reflection on them, yes. But I also think that you can't assume that because one or two of his friends were like this, that he is, too. One or two friends means that he has something in common with them and overlooks the more unpleasant aspects of them. If ALL or the good majority (8 out of 10, say) are like that, then yes, I'd be inclined to think that he is probably like them.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:38 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • You know what they say. Birds of a feather flock together.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:59 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • Not necessarily. In some groups of friends, there's always the one who acts as the moral compass. It's possible that this guy is that person in his group of friends.

    But then again, you're broken up so I don't see why it should matter now.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 5:11 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • I have a couple of crap friends.... one sleeps with anyone, the other did cheat on her husband and is now single, lonely cry baby drama queen. So all I can say is.... No, not everyone is like their friends. I think these two specific friends I described suck and they make me mad constantly but I love them for my own reasons... know what I mean?
    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 5:09 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • Be glad you broke up. I think men cheating is not okay and us overlooking it encourages them!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:35 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • Sounds like he does not keep good company.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:59 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • It might not have been a deal breaker in itself, but the willingness of a guy's friends to brag about cheating on their wives would have put up a red flag for me.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:14 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • Yep. Didn't read the entire post... But yep.
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 5:13 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • would you surround yourself with the same kind of friends? I ended a very good friendship with a lady who cheated on her husband every chance she got.
    Better off left behind, IMO.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:17 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

  • I wouldn't make his friends the only way to determine a man's true nature. I mean yeah, they are friends because of something they have in common, but you may not know how long they have been friends, and if they friends (or he himself) developed bad habits before the friendship or over the course of it, if that makes sense.

    My fiance's two best friends probably should've deterred me from him long ago if that was the case. His best friend is hilarious but up until recently was super immature - he's since grown up a bit, though, and is a really good friend to us both. His other best friend (who is actually out of the picture how) is a pathetic excuse for a man and I'm super glad he's not around anymore. My fiance was sort of... the leader of the pack, and though they did have things in common, they're more just friends because they've been that way forever.
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 5:31 PM on Aug. 26, 2013

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