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2 Bumps

Are little spats about dumb things common in a relationship??

The little things not worth an argument, sometimes things said or heard come back as assumptions to what he thought he heard but it wasn't what I said or what I was thinking. It is annoying. He has some hearing loss and I have a quiet voice. Conversation should be a 50/50% and sometimes he dominates the conversation. I needed to vent!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Aug. 27, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • We had more trouble with that when we first married. Now, I tend to just let it roll off and go on. I pick my battles now. If I don't want to argue about the piddly things, then I just forget about it.
    Sounds like he does need to check into hearing aids... : )
    AubreyRed

    Answer by AubreyRed at 7:57 PM on Aug. 27, 2013

  • Conversation should be a 50/50%

    No. It shouldn't.
    Sometimes someone has more to say than the other.
    Sometimes one needs to vent and needs someone to do nothing more than just listen.
    (this post is an example)



    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 3:24 PM on Aug. 27, 2013

  • Do you both have cell phones with text on them? Because of his hearing loss, maybe you need to just text him things.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:18 PM on Aug. 27, 2013

  • Short answer (just based on the title): YES

    But, it's all about how those issues are handled & discussed.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 3:26 PM on Aug. 27, 2013

  • Does he wear a hearing aid? If not, he should look into it. Until then, all you have to do is talk louder or tell him "No, you misunderstood. That's not what I said. I said ____" As far as arguing over stupid piddly things, yes that happens. Sometimes all those little things add up to one big thing. But it's not hopeless. Talk thru any issues that come up, little or not.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:40 PM on Aug. 27, 2013

  • I can see where you would be really frustrated. If your husand is willing, maybe you could have a code word, some way to stop things from escalating when a misunderstanding comes up. Both take a few minutes to breathe and cool off, then ask him to tell you what he thought he heard, and clarify if necessary.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:39 PM on Aug. 27, 2013

  • Conversation is usually not 50-50. But the problem in your conversations is definitely 50-50... he has hearing loss and you have a quiet voice. Some compensation is needed here; until he gets a hearing aid, you'll have to speak up.

    Yes, arguments over little things are normal. But what you describe is completely avoidable.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:46 PM on Aug. 27, 2013

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