Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it to soon to be thinking about adoption

My husband and I have been thinking about adopting a child(age 5-10). We have a little girl age 5 who we know would love to have brother or sister. My husband has been working at his job for almost a year now and I am one semester away from getting my associates degree. We think that in about 3 years we will be financial stable and will be able to afford a second child and the adoption paperwork. I am currently 22 and my husband 23 and with both of us coming from low income beaten families we would like nothing more than to help a child in need. Is it to soon to be thinking about adoption?? Are we to young to adopt?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Aug. 28, 2013 in Adoption

Answers (10)
  • No, not too young to adopt, and you will be given an otherwise unfortunate child a chance at a good daughter is in the process of adopting a little baby girl who came to us at 5 days old, had cocaine and weed in her system, she is healthy thank God!!! and has lighted up our life tremendously...go for it mom and dad, whenever you are ready....

    Answer by older at 10:42 AM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I don't know if you're too young, but I love what you want to do. I don't think it's too soon for you to be thinking about it, because that will allow you to plan and be prepared. And if you change your mind and want to adopt sooner, there's someone on here wanting to give up her 5 yr old daughter. That child definitely needs a good home.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:48 AM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • wendy, I just read the woman with a 5 year old who is looking to have her adopted...she makes me sick in so many ways....op, what you want to do is admirable!

    Answer by older at 10:49 AM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • You would be about 25 when you feel that you would like to adopt.
    They may ask you some very personal questions and one is surely going to be if you are planning to have more children yourself, why or why not. This is up to you whether you are up to the process and the invasion of your privacy in order to qualify for adoption. I am not trying to put you off from doing it because it is a wonderful and generous thing you will be doing, but you asked in relation to your ages. It will take a level of maturity to do all of that and then wit however long it takes. I would suggest that you maintain "birth order" Your daughter is first born and should maintain her position so I would suggest someone slightly younger than herself IMO It is not too early in to talking to agencies and finding out all the information you need. Be honest with them that you are looking at about 3 years down the road. Good Luck.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:57 AM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I think its admirable that you want to adopt, especially since you're thinking of an older child. Lots of people want babies, but there are way too many older kids out there that don't find good forever families.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:17 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • My best friend just went through the process to be approved to foster to adopt. IT is grueling and very personal but very rewarding. I say go for it. (I was even interviewed about them... their marriage, parenting style, home, cleanliness etc. etc.)

    The only set back so far is... they were given a two week old little boy and lead to believe they would be adopting him. Spent ALOT of money to buy what a family needs for a newborn. They got back into the swing of things (newborn and all) fell in love with him... and they gave him back to his mother, rare, but it did happen and was heartbreaking. Be prepared for anything and keep your heart open.

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 1:56 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • Because babies are always the first to be adopted we decided on a child that is older. Statistics show that children over the age of 5 hardly ever get adopted and children over the age of 7 almost never get adopted. we think that just because they are older doesn't mean that they don't need a mommy and daddy to love and care for them

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:28 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • Are you planning to start the process now or in 3 years when you are financially stable? Have you thought about the affect it will have on your daughter, older children have been through A LOT, and you never know what they are capable of... I've also heard that it is best to keep children in birth order, so your daughter is first born and should remain the oldest, there are different studies on it that you might want to read up on, people vary on opinions if this.

    Personally I would wait a few years to start the process, continue to research foster care, research the different behaviors, health concerns that foster children might have, wait until your daughter is a bit older. You have PLENTY of time to become foster parents and adopt...

    Answer by TiffyTaffyApple at 9:31 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I don't think you are too young, or that it is too soon to be thinking of adoption. If you go through your state's foster adopt, it usually does not cost anything to adopt, or just minimal fees. The process is not always easy and you will have children placed with you that the court may decide to put back with their parents or other family members. It happened to us, and it is heartbreaking. Some of the older children (older than 3) have been in the system a while and can have problems, but most just want what any other child wants - a loving family. Just do your research first. Good luck!

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 1:14 AM on Feb. 9, 2014

  • No

    Answer by escuchar at 12:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2014

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.