Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

He lives with his sister. Stay in the south or go up north(where I am originally from)?

My boyfriend lives with his sister. I want to move uo there but we can't afford an apartment. I don't think it will be appropriate to move in with him while he is living with his sister and her kids. It's crazy because I still live at home and I have a little girl. I've been a single mother for 4 years and it's just been so hard. I want to move to NJ where my boyfriend lives but I am scared. I don't want to leave my job here to go up there and don't find a job soon. There are so many people unemployed right now. He works part time but its not going to be enough to get a place and I have a car payment along with other bills, I want to be on my own and move in with him but I feel so stuck, Even if I was to stay in the south and just let him go because the long sistance won't work. I still need my own. My daughter will be 5 and she has been asking for her own room for a while now. I feel bad. Don;t know what to do. I'm not making much money and i don't get any help from anybody including my daughter father

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Aug. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Personally I would NOT move, leave a job, uproot a child to be with a guy who only has a part time job & lives with his Sister. Better stay put until he gets a full time job & a place of his own. If he doesn't then move on.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • Nope nope nope. No moving. Just what Paulie said.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:59 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • NO.
    He can't provide for himself, what is he going to offer you?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 4:04 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • For you it is not worth going up there. You have a child to think about. Stay where you are.
    About you DD asking for her own room. You will just have to tell her. Can't afford it right now.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:14 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • The most important thing right now is your daughter. Don't uproot her and take her away from friends. If it is meant to be with this guy it will be right always and not just right now. Is there any way you can use a room divider/screen somewhere in the house to make your daughter feel like she has her own space? Or one of those beds tents? GL

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:34 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • Given your concerns I would suggest that you NOT consider quitting and moving. But rather spend some time job-hunting in that area online. You can apply for positions/send resumes & even travel for an interview if you get an invitation. It would be a visit to your boyfriend & an interview, rolled together.
    Many people move for a job. You could make this work by waiting for the job & THEN moving, rather than setting yourself up for struggle, stress & possible failure.
    No reason not to look, right? Especially since it sounds like you DO want to move there, just don't want to take the leap with no guarantee that something will work out. (And that is wise to hold back from doing that!!)

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:28 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I sure wouldn't risk it. Good luck to you.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:00 AM on Aug. 29, 2013

  • Thanks so much ladies. Yeah I can job hunt online. But I think it's best to wait. It's been 1 year and a half with this whole long distance thing and we are both sick of not being able to see each other everyday. My daughter is forst and foremost. I do have a lot of family up in Jersey and probably will have more help than I do here but I don't want to depend on anybody. I appreciate your comments.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:18 PM on Aug. 29, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.