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Feeling depressed as a SAHM...

Hi everyone, I'm just looking for advice. I've been a stay at home mom since I was 20. I'm 27 now. I have 2 kids...6 and 2. My 2 yr old is very very high spirited, which makes it very hard to make friends or take him to playgroups.

I spend most of my days feeling lonely, confined, and sad. I love my kids with all my heart, but it's so hard sometimes not having a support system and a toddler that doesn't like the car seat or stroller so we can't go anywhere. I did work for a few months when my daughter (who's 6) was 3, but then went back to being a SAHM once my son came.

I guess it also doesn't help that my husband doesn't really seem to notice anything I do and contribute to the household (when I clean, cook, etc) and we seem even more disconnected now. It's hard when he comes home I just want to get out for a little bit, and when he's home he wants to relax after work (which I understand).

I sometimes find myself jealous hearing about hubby's days at work, meetings, friends, being apart of a team and his success. I don't have much on my resume so when I eventually do return to work when my 2 yr old son is in school, I'm not sure what kind of job I'll be able to find. I try to be supportive of him regardless of what I'm going through because I know these are things I just have to figure out and work through.

Anyways...does any one else feel this way being a SAHM? How do you get through the loneliness and all? I just want to cry most days and then I feel sooo guilty because I should feel blessed and grateful. Thanks for listening to me vent.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Aug. 28, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I feel like that a lot.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 5:11 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I did. I gave up being a SAHM. And I'd only done it for a couple of months!

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:18 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • In order for your 2 year old to be better at using a car seat or stroller you just have to keep doing it and telling him no when he fusses.
    Take your kids out to the park. Right now we are having beautiful weather and will through the fall.
    This is a perfect time to teach him that there are times you simply have to sit still.
    Try starting with a short time in the car seat and work your way up.
    I have a nephew that figured out early that he was a terror mommy would not take him anywhere. That was just what he wanted to run and do as he pleased.
    He stayed with me for a bit and I brought the car seat into the house (actually I had two so one stayed in the car)
    I told him I was fine if we did not go any where he was still going to sit in the car seat. I made it stick. Several times a day. Every day.
    He found it was much more fun to get in the car and go somewhere.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:19 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I feel like that a lot too. I'm better now that my kids are at school, but this summer was brutal for my depression and anxiety. I did figure out a few things:

    Your second to last sentence. You feel sooo guilty because you SHOULD feel blessed and grateful. You have a bar set of how you SHOULD feel and because you are not meeting that goal you set in your head, you are mentally beating yourself up.. Worst thing you can do and this is coming from someone who has given myself a mental asskicking because I'm not ever going to be a perfect SAHM.

    Your kids are loved and they are healthy. Your husband is going to be who he is because mine is like that so i think it's an entitled man thing.

    Find something for you. Join a Y or a gym if it is in your budget. Look at meetup groups for moms like you. I'm the most antisocial person in the world and I found a daily 4 mile walk is what helped give me a better outlook.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 5:22 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • Those are all normal feelings. The job doesn't pay, hours suck and there are no breaks. Plus the company walks all over you.

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:27 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • Thanks ladies! It's good to know I'm not alone.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:32 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I felt like that a LOT
    it helped once they were both in school- I could actually go out and about without them during the day. As for work- hubby worked one shift and I worked another when they were little -so one of us was always home with them

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 5:33 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • I find it a privilege to be able to stay at home and be a wife and mother.
    Sounds like you are needing more social time with other moms... Can you google Mother's Day Out programs in your area? Take some trips to your Library Story Hour... Join a Church group and try to connect with some other moms there... Try volunteering at a YMCA or something, they provide childcare.
    Your husband definetely NEEDS to know how you feel so he can work something out with you. He should be willing to take a couple hours now and then and let you get out. You really need it. Hope you can work out something!

    Answer by AubreyRed at 8:21 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

  • Be careful telling yourself how you "should" feel. You feel the way you feel, and that's okay. It just is. Could you try to get your son into a preschool program, or at least one of those "Mother's day out" mornings that some churches host? It sounds like you need some me time!

    Answer by Ballad at 10:50 PM on Aug. 28, 2013

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