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what to do when your husband hates you?

i filed for divorce due to domestic violence but he hates me now and wants nothing to do with me for calling the cops on him. i want a friendship so we can parent our child without drama but he hates me so much we can't even have a conversation. he says i ruined his career which i didn't, he did. he told me theres a woman out there for him and i am not it. is there any reasoning with this guy? i try to let it go but he has our child and i want to keep in contact! now he bother's me about money all the time.. he has custody while i am deployed.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • If I were an abuse victim, my child would not be living with my abuser. Visits would be fine but living arrangements would not occur unless he had completed and graduated court-ordered counseling and anger management of some sorts. I know it is hard since you are deployed but can a family member have custody of your child while you are away? Of course he doesn't want to be your friend. You got him into trouble. It doesn't matter if he deserved it or not, he doesn't see it as you doing the right thing because it negatively affected him. Having your child live with a family member might be the safest thing for your child and the best thing for you if you expect cooperation in being able to have contact with your child while you are away. It sounds as though he might use his custody of your child to "get back at you" for getting him into trouble. I would not allow that. Children should not be used as weapons.


    Answer by NovemberLove at 12:34 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Give it up. Try to have a relationship with your child, not your ex. You only need to be civil and only need to discuss arrangements that involve your child. When you get back, you both should immediately make a court date to decide your custody and child support arrangement. I'm a little confused that you want to have a friendship with him since he physically abused you to the point of you calling the police on him. My ex was abusive and I don't want to have a conversation with HIM.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • When you filed based on domestic violence were you being truthful? Either way, why would you think your ex would want to be friends with you. If you lied just to hurt him.... I wouldn't want anything to do with you...HOWEVER.... if he was abusive, honey you don't need that in your life. Accept the decision you made concerning your marital relationship and focus on your child. Never ever let yourself need the approval or friendship of an abuser....JUST GO AND START YOUR LIFE OVER ... AND PROVIDE YOUR CHILD A SAFE ENVIRONMENT.

    Answer by naturescape at 12:04 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • you hate him back, thats what i would do

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • You should really come home and get your child. S/he shouldn't be left alone with an abuser, you never know what could happen. You need to fight for full custody and get that child back.

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:43 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

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