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5 Bumps

My fiance' just left me 7 months pregnant.. And I need advice :(

I need some advice from other women who have went through the same thing as I'm going through....

--The other day my fiance and I had an argument about stupid crap and some stuff went down.. He decided it might be best if he went back and stayed with his parents for a couple days and we were okay when we left, we had even kissed and hugged and he told me he loved me and we would still be together and raise this child together.. The next day he woke up with a change of heart, he told me it would be best if we broke up and everything... My heart was broken, and it still is very broken... I am 7 months pregnant ! Though, the whole time we lived together he never acted like he wanted this child, never touched my belly, never wanted to feel him move unless I placed his hand on my belly myself.. But now he texts me telling me he wants to see his son, and everything but I don't know if I should give him any rights to him.. A lot of people have told me I shouldn't give the baby his last name and I Shouldn't let him see him after he just abandoned me pregnant like that... But it's so hard knowing my child will grow up in a broken home, and the daddy won't see him come into this world in the delivery room with me.... I am so confused and I need some advice.... This guy was abusive, he threw me into walls, put a pillow over my face to get me to shut up during an argument.. And he would throw my other children around, and slap them way too hard..

Please help ! I am depressed and confused....

Answer Question
 
erikalovesjerry

Asked by erikalovesjerry at 8:06 PM on Aug. 31, 2013 in Pregnancy

Level 5 (71 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • So, does erika NOT love jerry anymore?
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 8:08 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • As soon as you have this child file for child support. I do not know if you can get any of the paper work filed beforehand
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:10 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • He threw your kids around? That alone would be a reason to kick him to the curb.
    DJDNY

    Answer by DJDNY at 8:11 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • I shouldn't give the baby his last name

    repeat this as many times as it takes^

    he abused you AND your kids
    get proof if you have it and do everything you can to keep your kids, the new baby and you safe

    advice- you are way better off- and i think you know this
    please do not get involved with another man- not for a while, until you have your head on straight. any woman that can watch their kids get abused by their man- is not thinking straight
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • He's abusive but you only want to keep is son from him now because he left you, hurting your other children wasn't a good enough reason?

    He's the father, he has rights. If he's abusive you need to document it for the courts.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:32 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • "This guy was abusive, he threw me into walls, put a pillow over my face to get me to shut up during an argument.. And he would throw my other children around, and slap them way too hard..."

    Get a restraining order, DON'T let him anywhere near the kids until there is a court order in place!! If he has left you the you don't have to allow him in the hospital, and if he's abusive you should stay away!! WTF are you thinking... are you just going to wait until one of you end up in the hospital or worse... the MORGUE!!! GET OUT.... and STAY OUT!!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:41 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • Dude sounds like a pos. Let him go, get child support, and document the abuse for the courts. You shouldn't let this guy into your baby's life... ever.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 8:41 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • Abusive to you and your children.....and he is still breathing.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:42 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • If the child is his then he will have rights whether you want him to or not. It's not up to you, it's up to the courts if he persues it. If I were you, I would stop taking his calls. I would have the baby and give the baby YOUR last name. I would not call him and allow him to be there for the birth and I would not allow him to sign the birth certificate. If he wants to see the baby and be a part of his child's life, then he can do the work of getting an order for a DNA test, going to court to seek visitation and at the same time you can seek an order for child support. If eventually you want to give the child his last name then you can agree to it and have it done, but as of now it doesn't change. If someone left me pregnant at 7 months he would have to do a whole lot of work to get back in good graces to spend time with an innocent child. Not to mention his abusive nature that you mentioned.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:45 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

  • If a man EVER lifted a finger against my children he'd be crawling. Breathing is optional. How you can be "sad" that a piece of crap like that left you is beyond me.

    Seriously, I absolutely do NOT get it
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 8:57 PM on Aug. 31, 2013

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