Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do I tell my fathers son?

Alright so my sons third birthday party is coming up the 7th, His father and I are no longer together although we do try to get along hence, we are throwing the party together at my mothers home. Recently i made the decision to move in with my boyfriend, he is really amazing person who wants to be as much of a part of my sons life as mine and understand his place when it comes to this situation. The subject came up of my sons birthday party and i deided to invite him, why wouldnt i want to invite one of the people that I love the most to share a very speacial day with the my son my other half they make me complete. His dad hasn't grown up much and is very immature, How should i tell him? I know he wont react in an adequate way.. My boyfriend is willing to speak to him but im afraid the father of my sons child is not mature enough to be able to handle this situation in an adult manner. I'm dumbfounded. What should I do? Thank

Answer Question

Asked by stella616 at 4:41 PM on Sep. 1, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I'm assuming you mean your son's father. The way this is worded is odd.

    It would be a bad move, in my opinion, to have your current boyfriend talk to your ex. That would just be asking for trouble. I'd just let your ex know that your current boyfriend is going to be at the party and you expect him to act like an adult. If he doesn't feel he can do that then it would be best if he didn't come at all.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 4:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • Me, I do not think you need to inform you EX your Curent SO will be their. That is non of his business. He will be their for you not for him. That is how I see it. And I do not think it is any of your EX's business if you two live together.
    But you know how your EX is. Either tell him he is comming or tell you SO he isn't comming. To suit your EX.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:57 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • If you don't think he can behave, why would you have agreed to co-host with him in the first place?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:31 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • I wouldn't tell my ex anything! It not his place to know my business!!!! Do what you need to do

    Answer by rachel216 at 5:32 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • I am having trouble with this as well but if I am reading this right you might not like the situation you are setting up. If I am reading it wrong. My apologies.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:33 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • This is a Party for your Son. Does he want his Dad there? It's his day. If your EX will make a scene &/or if you haven't been dating this guy for that long for your EX to even know about him then I'd tell your BF not to come this time.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 5:45 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • Since you and your son's father are co-hosting the birthday party (at your mom's house), have you discussed guests? How have you handled the plans such as who is invited, how many to plan for, how big a party you actually WANT, etc.? Seems to me if you are hosting the party together you could touch base about details (like those logistics) and just be clear about expectations.

    I don't think you should have to "clear" things with him in the sense of getting permission, or implying that it somehow is his call, but if you ARE throwing the party together just respect each other & communicate about your intentions. I don't think anything should be unexpected. So either you worked out a guest list together & should stick to that (and communicate about any additions to it) or you had an understanding about how it would work (you'd each invite the family & friends that you feel like including, or you estimated a total number, etc.)

    Answer by girlwithC at 5:55 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • You say that you are making the best of the relationship with your son's father, so much so that you are BOTH hosting his 3rd birthday party. If that is true and you know that blind-siding him with your current SO's presence will make him even POSSIBLY disrupt your SON'S 3rd birthday party, then tell him in advance. How would you feel if he suddenly brought current GF to the party without consulting you? Ultimately, this is a party for your son that his TWO parents are giving him. Your son's needs trump yours and BF's. You could give your son a 2nd bday party at BF's family's house. More people to love him is great. Hope you figure this out and that everything goes well. :)

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:44 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • Honestly, at this point I think you should follow through on coho sting the party with the ex at your moms house and then maybe have another special celebration (fun dinner or something) with your son and your boyfriend. This is a party for your son and you should avoid doing anything that may cause a scene. You can make different arrangements for is next birthday and include your BF then.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:10 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.