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2 Bumps

I need advice. Especially from Grandma's or step Grandma's.

I'm a regular but I need to go anon for privacy reasons.

We had the family over for dinner. My SS and his wife wanted to go watch a movie and spend some alone time. They left the baby and 6 yr old with us for a few hours. My DH got a call to bid on an important job, so he left me with the grand kids and our dd that is also 6, plus the neighbors 7 yr old and 3 yr old.

The 6 yr old granddaughter is a bully. Many people in town talk about her awful attitude. Anyways, I just got the baby to sleep in my arms. He has bad acid reflux and hardly ever sleeps. Granddaughter said she was thirsty. I told her to go grab a bottle of water from the back fridge or a bottle of tea. She said, "No, you go right now and get it for me." I said that I just got her brother to sleep and she needs to get it herself. I was rocking him on the porch swing and wasnt going to disrupt him because she wouldn't get up and get it herself.

She got up and smacked my dd in the head and demanded she go water for her. I told granddaughter to go get in the porch chair in time out for 6 minutes. She put her hands on her hip and said, "Nope. My momma says I don't have to do anything you say so fuck off. "

I snatch that child up and carried her and the baby to my car. Locked them into the car sests and took them home. Told my SS and his wife that I will not be disrespected in my home and I won't tolerate the disrespect. Her mother had the audacity to say that her child is right, I have no authority to discipline her.

I dont spanks kids, esppecially kids that aren't mine. Time out works in my opinion. I'm so furious. I agree to watch that nasty mouthed child and they turn on me! I'm not doing it again. DH will never leave them here with me again.

How would you react? Was I wrong? I don't think so, but Dil does.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Sep. 1, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (26)
  • You did PRECISELY THE RIGHT THING. Refuse all babysitting in the future.

    Your DIL is an ASS. And your son is an IDIOT if he lets this stuff go on.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:14 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • You were right and I wouldn't babysit for them. I'm not a grandma but when I leave my kids with my mom or mil I hope and expect that they will discipline my kids when they are out of line (my mom is more willing to actually do it). I teach my kids to respect whatever authority I leave them under.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:17 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • fishin
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • I think you went far & beyond what a Grandma HAS to do & now you know what apple didn't fall far from the tree. Granddaughter gets her attitude from her Mom. What a shame that there was no appreciation there. You did the right thing & don't worry, they will NEED you soon enough & when that happens you can say "not until I get the common courtesy & respect I deserve". They owe you big time!

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:22 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • Anon, I'm not fishin. Thanks for your insight.

    My neighbor told me she will be calling us so they can go out, and we need to say no. I don't have an ugly bone in my body, but this crossed my line.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:30 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • im not a grandma but I cant believe your son and dil allowed this! I would NEVER in a million years let my kids get away with that behavior.. I don't really like spanking and I would prefer no one spank my kids BUT when punishment is needed its needed! Yell, time out.. do what you need to do. if your watching my kids YOU are the authority and they had better listen to what you do! how are you supposed to babysit if they are okay with their kids walking all over you?? I think you did the right thing in the situation. you sent them home, told them what happened and left it to them to correct. if they don't want to correct her behavior then no more babysitting. Kudos to you for sticking to your guns!!
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 9:37 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • You did the right thing, but I think it's time for your DH to sit with his son and tell him how he feels about this.
    DJDNY

    Answer by DJDNY at 9:41 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • I would have done exactly the same thing. It's appalling to me that the parents didn't back you up.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 9:41 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • Just to be clear, he is my step son. 26 yrs old. His mom died 23 yrs ago. I've been in the picture for 7 yrs now.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:42 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

  • Well, still. The child disrespected you, swore at you, smacked another child--it's beyond not okay.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 9:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2013

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