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4 Bumps

How to parent a daughter who strips for a living and a daughter who recetly told us she is bi-sexual?

My first daughter is the classic story of a rebellious child who turn to a lifestyle 100% different from the one she was raised in. She wanted to do everything her way. Now she is trapped in a life I know deep down she wants out of. My other daughter recently told us she is bi-sexual. She did not rebel, she pretty much was obedient, but this has thrown me totally off course. I am hurt, angry, confused and tired. I raised them as best I could. They communicate with me. I try to be fair and openminded, but it is just too much for me now. I have never rejected them, but they know I don't agree with their lifestyles. I feel like a failure.

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Prettyladies653

Asked by Prettyladies653 at 10:59 AM on Sep. 2, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • How does bi-sexual equal parental failure? I'd be much more worried about your daughter who is stripping for a living if that is not what she wishes to be doing.

    I suppose all you can do remain loving and available to both of them if they need you
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:00 AM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • she is trapped in a life I know deep down she wants out of
    Did she tell you that? Did she say, Mom I hate my life, fix it for me?



    My daughter is bi-sexual. I am hurt, angry, confused and tired.
    Unless this one is dating a rapist/ abuser/ drug dealer etc. How does her choice of mate affect You?

    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 11:05 AM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • I don't understand the point about your daughter who is bisexual. So what?

    The dd who is a stripper, if she is truly unhappy, then yes, I would be worried. However, there's not much you can do except be there for her if/when she needs you. You don't have to support her lifestyle to love her. But it would be helpful for her if she knew you would be there for her to talk to.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 11:21 AM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • The only one I would be concerned about is the one who is unhappy. That's the only time you should be concerned.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:01 PM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 12:08 PM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • You parent them like you would any child. You love them unconditionally and try your best to understand them, even if you don't agree 100% with what they are doing. You want them to succeed in life and you should want them to be loved like they love others. That's it. It shouldn't be that complicated.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:13 PM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • Once your kids are adults. What they do. Is not looked at in your parenting of them. (hope I said that right) They are adults and do what they want.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:16 PM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • You don't parent them any differently.. Sure stripping isn't what you want for your daughter but I bet if you stop pushing the issue she will stray away from it herself. Encourage her and support her and tell her she can be anything she wants to be. Build up her self esteem and maybe she will then take the steps needed to make her life a better one.

    As for the daughter whos bi sexual.. I don't see an issue here. There isn't anything wrong with her. Its not a failure on your parenting. Let her live her life and stop judging her or she wont ever want you around. You said your not rejecting them and they know you disagree with their life choices and you feel like a failure.. but by saying you feel like you failed is a form of rejecting them.. this is who they are like it or not.
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 12:38 PM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • Stripping is a job. Just like people who collect garbage or pump septic tanks. Bi-sexual isn't something you "fix". It's who she is.
    Your job as a parent is to encourage them to be the best "them" that they can be. Not to agree, not to "fix", just to love and support.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:00 PM on Sep. 2, 2013

  • Has the daughter who strips TOLD you she doesn't want to be doing it? Or you just THINK she doesn't?
    If she has told you that, then be there for her and help her figure out a way to make that money without stripping

    As for the other daughter, I don't get the problem? Sexuality just IS- it's no one's fault and it's not a choice. Love is love...and there is no reason for you to feel bad for her or to want to fix her

    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:12 PM on Sep. 2, 2013

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