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Do you teach your kids to "hit 'em back?"

You know, if another child pushes/hits/kicks them or you tell your kid to hit them back?

Just wondering who out there does this and why, and other people's opinions on it...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Feb. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (24)
  • I have if that kid just repeatedly hits my kid. Or if I see it and its the other kid did it either just to be mean or to get something he wanted.

    Answer by lstrickland at 11:59 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • Two wrongs do not make a right. It is usually the second "wrong" that gathers the attention and they're the person that gets into trouble instead of the instigator. I plan on teaching my children how to defend themselves without the intention of continuing a fight or causing harm to another person unless necessary. I hope that my kids will handle altercations of all kinds with dignity, using their intellect and words before using their fists.


    Answer by NovemberLove at 11:59 PM on Feb. 18, 2009

  • pushing and little things... no

    but when my child is a teenager, you better believe I want him to defend himself in a fight. and by fight I mean all out punches and such.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Not physically hit, but stand up for himself- most definitely.

    Answer by julipickle at 12:21 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • julipickle, how do you think your son should defend himself if he's hit by someone if not hitting back?
    We have a constitutional right to defend ourselves and yes, I will teach my son to use that right.

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:32 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • i teach my kid to hit back. i was at a public play place with my kids. one little girl would walk up to my child for NO REASON and pinch her in the arm. she did it over and over and my dd was going owie. her mom wasnt even paying attention to her snotty kid she was busy talking on the cell. so i showed my little girl how to pinch. i want her to be able to stick up for herself. its one thing to go and hurt someone but its another to defend urself and show that person that what the are doing actually hurts and they better back off or they will get it again if they keep doing it.

    Answer by CAarmywife at 12:36 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I was a bully victim as well. I sure do tell them to hit back. If they start it they are in trouble, but self defense is A OK

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 12:44 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I don't yet, because my dd is only four months old. But when she gets older, hell yes that's what I'll teach her. If she ever starts a fight, she will be in big trouble. If she gets into a fight and doesn't defend herself, she will be in trouble. But, if someone starts a fight with her and she fights back, I'll probably take her for pizza or something. That's how I was raised, and not one person ever actually tried to fight me in school because they knew I'd either whoop their ass or go down swinging if they started something with me.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 12:44 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • In one isolated case, with a bully whose parents refused to discipline him, we told our son that it was O.K. to hit back AND to cuss him out.
    There was also another time where he lost his cool with a boy who wouldn't stop teasing him and we discussed it but didn't punish him either.
    But most of the time we tell him to just walk away from it.

    Answer by ddbz at 12:47 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • No. I teach my son to first ask his friend to stop, then if they won't, to walk away and tell the teacher. He's in preschool, so hitting back is hardly appropriate. When he's older, I still do not plan on teaching him to hit back. The only time I would expect him to hit someone else would be in defense of another person who is unable to defend themselves, and even then only if peaceful resolutions have been tried and rejected by the other party.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 12:55 AM on Feb. 19, 2009

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