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2 Bumps

Feeling sad and could use a few kind words.

I have a 2 and a 1/2 year old son and since he was born up until he was about a year and a few months old I had horrible PPD, I was so so very sad all the time and had anxiety and questioned myself about everything. I am thankfully over all of that now but today I was thinking back and the VERY LITTLE that I can remember are sad memories, I can't remember most of his milestones or even happy events that my husband and mother remember, this crushes my heart :( I feel as though my sadness effected him. I was always sad or in a bad mood and I feel like that robbed me of time, VERY IMPORTANT time with my son. I know I can't stew on the past because it doesn't change a thing, but my heart hurts that we all had to go through that..never in a million years would I ever had imagined that I would have been effected by that horrible disease:( I feel like I wasn't present the way I should have been and wanted to.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Sep. 3, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Why didn't you talk to your doctor? Get some help? Sounds like you might still need some help :/
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:40 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • I'm sorry you experienced it, it's horrible! I experienced it with my first born.
    But, the good part is, the babies don't remember it!
    Hope your day gets better...
    KTElite

    Answer by KTElite at 9:40 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • Pictures. Take a small camera wherever you go and when he's smiling and having a good time, snap a few pics. Take some of the two of you together doing something fun.


    I think all of us can identify with not remembering some really good times with our kids. Life gets busy and as adults we have more on our plates than just the kids. Time slips away and then there you are. Letting it depress you even further isn't doing you any good. Make a plan to change how things go in the future, or to at least capture some of those wonderful moments so that they are easier to remember.


    And of course, if you feel you are slipping back into depression, seek medical advise.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:41 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • Don't dwell on the past and dwell on the future...do things for him to make up for what makes you sad, and if you feel falling in the same scenario get help again!
    older

    Answer by older at 9:43 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • the good news is- he's not going to remember that stuff so start now with pictures and having fun and whatnot!
    we all have good and bad times, just let it go and make the best of things going forward :)
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:05 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • Don't spend this precious time worrying about the past. Enjoy today and make some lasting memories now. I keep a journal of my kids. I may not write anything for a couple weeks but then I'll write every day for a week. Just cute things they say and do, places they go, friends the make, etc. There are lots of moms that don't remember the early days due to sheer exhaustion and overload!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:12 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • You can't go back & change things. Like the others have said, it's time to shift your focus on today & what's ahead for tomorrow. He's only 2 1/2 & still needs his mama in his life in so many ways. Play with him. Take him to the park. Snuggle him & read him a story. Make your own memories & take lots of pics while you're doing it.

    If you have another baby, make sure you get help for PPD right away.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:32 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • The past is in the past; leave it there. I'm sorry you don't feel you were as connected with your son as you wanted to be. But the wonderful thing about time is, you have a brand-new day, a brand-new moment, to make your life the way you want it to be. There are still plenty of milestones for your son to reach, plenty of experiences for him to have with his mom. Children are amazingly resilient. Turn all that regret into positive energy and make the future great.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:50 AM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • I went through the same exact thing. Talk to a doctor if you have one, they can prescribe you something.
    You can't change the past, so just try and be the best mom you can be NOW!
    Mommy2bbyboy

    Answer by Mommy2bbyboy at 1:34 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • That sounds really painful. I can understand your sadness. It's a real loss!
    I know what it's like to grieve things you couldn't help (at the time) because you just were limited by circumstances. We're all doing the best we can in any given moment, and we shouldn't be hard on ourselves about those moments that "weren't good enough," but that doesn't mean that we aren't limited or compromised in ways that we legitimately can regret & grieve.
    I have done a lot of healing from childhood trauma that left me with coping mechanisms that impacted how I was living as an adult. The more I heal the more I can see how sad much of that was, and how it kept me from being present to many beautiful things, or how it triggered coping/self-soothing behaviors that I regret. Often we have to live with consequences from (or the "legacy" of) those times, even if not stuck in blame or negative ruminations. Grieving fully is part of moving on.
    Hugs!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:41 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

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