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How should I respond to a friend's child hitting me.

My friend's 6 year old son has been getting increasingly naughty. She is not a good disciplinarian. The last time we were together I was driving and he asked to roll his window down. I responded very nicely that it made a noise in the car and the air conditioning was on, so the windows had to stay up. He demanded the window be rolled down the entire ride and continually kicked the back of my seat. When we arrived he took his shoe off, hit me in the shoulder, and said "that's for not letting me roll the window down." If it was my own child I would have spanked him right then and there. I told him not to hit me again, but my friend , already frustrated, just walked away. How should I handle this child in the future? I feel he needs to learn to apologize at the very least- can I ask for an apology?

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Asked by zachandannie at 1:32 PM on Sep. 3, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I would not take him with me again until he has learned some respect and if the Mother is not discipling him he may never learn any respect.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:34 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • 1st of all, I would not have continued driving while the little brat was kicking the back of my seat. I would have pulled over & told him that he could cause an accident w/ his behavior. If it continued, he & his mother would be calling for a ride home. And to have her walk away after his bad behavior turned worse is unacceptable. I don't think I'd be going out w/ this friend again unless she has a babysitter. Then we'd be talking about what's going on at home. If he acts like that with an audience, imagine what he does when he's on his home turf!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:37 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • No socializing with this friend until/unless she civilizes her child. You're DONE.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:52 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • Yeah, I'd be done with that one. A friend who is at least making an effort to try to discipline, I could handle. But one who walks away while her child hits me? No, that's just unacceptable. I'd also be honest with her and tell her that I can't be friends with her any longer because she won't discipline her child. I'd also probably end up being a bit snarky and tell her something like I don't want to risk being called to testify about his violent behavior when he's on trial for assault or murder someday.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:56 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • I wouldn't put myself in that position ever again. I would only spend time with that friend when she had someone to watch her Son, like at night & her DH can watch him. It's not your business how she raises her child & she is really in for it as he gets older with behavior & disrespect for adults like that. BUT! that's her problem. If she asks to get together with her kid tagging along then say "Lets do get together when it can be just us." You have to start NOW so she gets the message in regards to this recent incident.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:02 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • I would stop the car when he started and told your friend to deal with her child. If she refused to control her child, I would stop taking them places in my car. Period.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:14 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • First off I would make him sit behind his mother. I am not a fan of people sitting behind the driver unless the car is full.
    I would not let my friend off the hook. I would say "Jane", "Tommy" just hit me, I have a time out corner that he can sit in until he apologizes"
    Then the ball is in her corner and she has to deal with it. She can shrug it off, tell you not to tell her how to parent or respond with a discipline.
    Whether you decide to be around her when her child is present is up to you. Certainly whether you drive or not is up to you.
    However, Should anything happen inside your car, ie. kicking the seat or hitting you, INO the correct response is to pull over and refuse to drive until the situation is corrected. This is a safety issue.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:38 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • Me personaly. I would tell my friend, she needs to do something about her kid. If she didn't. She wouldn't be my friend much longer. I wouldn't want my kids around a kid like that. I don't want my kids to get any ideas.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:04 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • honestly I would tell the friend, and if he or she doesn't do anything about it...then honestly I would prolly hit them back

    Answer by cakez7936 at 3:34 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

  • I agree with the others; I wouldn't be going anywhere with that friend and her ill-mannered child again. Not to say that mine's never been a brat, but I can't imagine her actually taking off her shoe and hitting anybody, especially an adult she barely knows. The future will go down hard for a kid like that. I think, if the friend doesn't step in, it's perfectly okay to say, "At my house, we don't hit. You need to go sit on the porch steps till you decide to apologize." I've done that with neighbor kids before, and no parent has ever protested. If a parent objected, I'd ask her to leave with her child. I want my little girl to see that rules are rules for everybody, especially biggies like no hitting.

    Answer by Ballad at 3:39 PM on Sep. 3, 2013

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