A friend of mine is having some major problems with his girlfriend. Just 1 child and he is 2. She has history of domestic violence towards him. She doesn't really supervise their son, several neighbors have seen him cross the street, walk down the street, and walks 4 to 5 houses down, by the time she goes back outside. She drinks A LOT everyday. She leaves a shotgun where the son can reach it, and shes bipolar and no meds. Made a story that he beat her, tried to kill her.The only marks were the ones she did to herself, and he went to jail and she never let the family know he was arrested, and he didn't have access to a phone, and spent 72 hrs in jail. She wants sole custody. He's terrified she will get it. She hasn't let him see their son. She now has PPO against him.
What can he do? Heres a bit of history..
They have been together for about 4 yrs. When I met her, I didn't like her at all!! But he seemed happy. About a year or so go by, and he hardly came over to see me, when I talked to him, he got snappy and a bit nervous, not like him at all. I was seeing little bruises and he said it was worked related. He's a computer programmer!!
About a year after their son was born, he didn't do something right, and she went nuts on him. She beat him until he went to the hospital. She threw the coffee pot and hit him hard in the head. And in doing so, he had a bad concussion, 16 stitches in his head, and was in the hospital for a few days. He told me and the police he was attacked. I knew better and told him so. She has hit /beaten him many more times after that, used their son a the "bargaining chip" and since he is the one that has to work, because she will NOT work, his son's life is basically is in her hands, and he can't afford to piss her off.
I do not understand why the system will believe a woman was beaten by her man, but when a man gets beaten he gets shitty treatment, called a wuss, or they are lying etc. He has the same victimology that a battered woman has only in reverse. But he did finally tell her he was leaving her and taking their son with him, and the proof he had against her to prove she was an unfit mom. I do not know what it was, he never told me. But it also could be considered a bluff. IDK... But I think what happened then is what made her act like she did by saying he beat her and sending him to jail by marking herself by scratching her face, hitting her knees into the concrete, rubbed her chest until it was red and she pinched herself so it would bruise. And since he never went to the police after what she did to him, nothing is on record.
We have known one another for 15 yrs, he is my 'big brother'. I know for 100% certainty, HE DID NOT TOUCH HER. If he would have hit her ever, it would been the night she threw the coffee pot at him. What can I do???? He can't even see his son! Its been 2 weeks. The courts here automatically issue temporary restraining orders until a court date is made. He's so stressed out, fearing for his son's life, he had another panic attack that put him into the hospital.
Can anyone help me??
Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Sep. 4, 2013 in Parenting Debate
Answer by Lobelia at 2:22 AM on Sep. 4, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 7:27 AM on Sep. 4, 2013
He would have been better off reporting and letting her go to jail for assault. At least at that point he would have some kind of documentation of her violent tendencies and he could call her disorder into question.
At this point he needs one thing, and that's the best attorney his money can buy. He needs to get an order for visitation. He needs to let his attorney know about the BiPolar Dx and the fact that she is off her meds and keeps a gun in the house. The attorney will do what they can to make the best of this situation for him.
Answer by QuinnMae at 10:01 AM on Sep. 4, 2013
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:47 PM on Sep. 4, 2013
Answer by smiley745 at 5:48 PM on Sep. 4, 2013
Answer by Dardenella at 8:20 PM on Sep. 4, 2013
Answer by PatienceP at 8:29 PM on Sep. 4, 2013
Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:34 PM on Sep. 4, 2013
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