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Really in need of some good advice here....please help. :(

My son is 5 and was in pre-school last year. The Pre-school teacher said that she did not feel he was ready for Kindergarten but my mom said that if I held him back a year then when he did go to K he would be older than the other kids and that he would graduate a year later and might be made fun of etc...

So I went ahead and put him in K. So far he has been disruptive, he has hit other children. He wrote on a boys shirt and ruined it and now I am responsible for paying for the shirt. His teacher has already took away his recess for the last three days and a couple of the parents have called in, complaining about him and asked that he be kept away from their children.

Apparently he is overly friendly, gets into other kids personal space, tries to hug kids and is too hands on. One little boy even told his mom that if my son doesn't leave him alone and stay out of his face he is going to beat him up.

At the bus stop today a few of the mothers there have kids in my sons class and they told me that they feel my son should be removed from the K class and put back into pre-school. One of the mothers also said that due to his speech delay and his ADHD that he should not go to a public school but needs to be in a school for MRDD.

I am going to call tomorrow and see if I can get him back into his old pre-school class and if not there then I will try head start but I am debating whether to keep him in the K class until I can get him placed somewhere else. And if the Pre-K has no openings, should I continue sending him to K or should I just uninroll him and keep him home with me another year until he matures more? He will be 6 in January so next year legally he has to be in K.

Should I send him to school tomorrow or just go into the school and tell them I am pulling him out? The other mothers have already made it known to both myself and the school that they do not want him there.
A couple of the kids won't even sit next to him on the bus anymore before he is too hyper and too hands on. I just don't know what is the best thing to do.

Answer Question

Asked by AnonNdrag at 9:06 PM on Sep. 4, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 19 (7,783 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • It does sound like he is not mature enough for K. I would pull him and then work on getting him back into PreK or just keep him home, if that is what you want to do. I don't think he will miss much academically since he already went through PreK. His age doesn't matter and he won't get made fun of for being older. D was the second oldest kid in his class and that wasn't a big deal to them. He missed the cutoff so was 6 a couple weeks after K started. You know your child best, do what you think is right for him!

    Answer by kmath at 9:20 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • Have you talked to the school physiologist yet??? If not call tomorrow!!!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 9:21 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • Ohhh and it's NOT up to the other mothers!! Tell them that unless they are educational professionals their advice is not welcome!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 9:23 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • Ty ladies. He has not seen the school psychologist but he does see a counselor and a child psychiatrist at a local mental health facility and he is on ritalin for the ADHD.

    Comment by AnonNdrag (original poster) at 9:25 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • I agree with Crafty and Kmath. It's not going to hurt anything to pull him out and he cannot possibly be happy if he's being treated unkindly by kids AND adults. That said, I do think that now is a great time to figure out what tools to utilize so that you can prepare him for when he does transition to a regular, more structured classroom next year.

    You've learned a valuable lesson. Follow your gut when it comes to YOUR child. Don't let your mom or anyone else make your decisions for you. As mothers we have instincts for a reason. Your instincts for your child are what matter.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 9:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • Aww- how sad for you & your son. Those mothers cannot dictate where your child should be placed & are being rude & intolerant. I think you need to have a meeting right away to decide his academic path. Is he receiving speech therapy & behavioral therapy? If not, I would look into that to get the help he needs. Being held back a year at this stage is not a big deal. So tell your mom to relax. Getting him placed appropriately is what's most important. Best of luck. *Hugs*

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:26 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • I would make an appointment to speak to the Principal of the School & tell him/her your concerns & see if you CAN send him again to K next year. The Schools here only allow you to start K once & not again. So here you would be stuck sending him. I would definitely see if you can send him again next year though! My Son started at 6 in K because I knew he just wasn't ready so I did 2 years of Preschool & it;s the BEST choice I ever made. He did SO much better in K than he would have if I started him a year earlier. So call the School tomorrow & talk to someone & don't hesitate to do what you feel is right if you can. No one teases my Son at all. Actually, most of the kids in his K class were 6! BTW, I think those Moms were rude to tell you their opinions unless you asked. Welcome back too ;)


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:28 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • Thank you all. He is getting speech therapy and that is one of my concerns if he does not go to a school at all, but I can always get a script from his dr and get him into the therapy dept of the hosp. I will call tomorrow and speak to the principal and decide what to do because I am really worried about the little boy who said he was going to beat him up. I don't want to send my kid to a place where he may not be safe. Thanks for all your advice I do feel alot better now. :)

    Comment by AnonNdrag (original poster) at 9:32 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • I don't know the right answer, but I will say that there are a lot of kids (mostly boys) in both my DS and DD's classes that are a year older than the other students. They are 3rd and 5th grades and they don't talk at all about anyone making fun of the older kids. Not that it doesn't happen, but the kids that are older seem pretty well adjusted and seem to have plenty of friends. Age seems to be becoming less of an issue.
    Also keep in mind that kinder is a little more demanding than pre-k and can take an adjustment period. There are more rules to follow and it's a longer day of instruction. Some kids just take a little longer to adjust to the longer day.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:56 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

  • I'm so sorry to hear this, it's no way a mom wants to kick off the start of a new year. With that, I think it's a salvageable situation. If it were me, I probably would pull him out and either keep him home or find a preschool. As others said, the age is not an issue at all and I agree that academically it won't be an issue. You can practice all the regular K stuff at home to better prepare him. Perhaps you discuss this with his teacher so you have a clearer idea of what to work on (like sight words, reading, calendar, numbers). It'll all work out for the best. Try not to let the other moms upset you. Take the good advice and to hell with the rest!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:40 PM on Sep. 4, 2013

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