My husband and I have been together for 5 years now. We have two children together and a house. His mother lived with us for 3 years after her divorce before moving out and buying her own house. Wanting to 'upgrade' she went and found a big house. And with the house being big it cost a lot. I was injured at work recently and then my mother died shortly after which caused me to be out for a period of time, requiring him to have to support our household until my Workers-Comp kicked in. When it came time for the baby to get diapers, he was broke, but the numbers weren't adding up from his paychecks. Soon, I found out (on my own) that since she's left (2010) she'd been asking him for money every month ($300-$500) and he freely gives it to her (he makes $1800-2300 a month and the mortgage is $1000). He lied when I asked until I confronted him about it and finally he admitted to loaning her money, the only thing is, he rarely ever gets it back when she says he will and he's always broke (I never understood why I always pay when we go out and he makes more than me). I feel unless we are ahead in bills by a month and this is a one time emergency, he doesn't need to be giving anyone over $50.
She's always been bad with money and she knew what she was getting into purchasing the house, she needs to move or find a second job. He wouldn't allow me to purchase the car I wanted in March because he felt the note was too much and I should be able to afford it regardless of if my hours were cut. Shouldn't she be held to the same standards? I'm using money from my emergency savings to catch up the now behind bills, buy things for the kids(school clothes) and groceries because he's broke (literally not even $20) from helping her. He became upset with me about it (because I didn't tell him the kids needed school clothes (duh)) but I feel you should never give anyone your last dollar. I feel she is manipulating him and now she's even dodging his texts and calls. My mother has left money for me, and I planned to allow him access once it is available, but seeing how naive he is with his mother, I'm having second thoughts. Am I being too hard on him about this? Its one thing if he was open about it but the fact that he tried to hide it upsets me.
I am not in any way mad with his mother he is wrong in my eyes because she didn't force him he could have said no. She is who she is, she knows who will give in and thats just her personality.
Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Sep. 5, 2013 in Relationships
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