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3 Bumps

Does the school think I'm made of money or what?

I don't mind paying for lunches, school supplies, student fees, tuition, and so on. But every week, my daughter's kindergarten class is having a Spirit Day. Last week, the kids were all supposed to wear T-shirts with college logos and lettering on them to promote the idea of higher education. My daughter didn't have a shirt like that--shoot, even my old college shirts are long gone. The week before that, she was supposed to wear a T-shirt with her elementary school logo on it, which I bought for $15 for the occasion, even though I wouldn't usually dream of paying that much for a kids' shirt. Today, it's Broncos Day. Again, my daughter doesn't have a Broncos shirt. I sent her to school in blue shorts and an orange tanktop justso she'd at least be wearing the team colors. What's it going to be next week, for heaven's sake? Are we going to cycle through all of the local sports teams? And what when we run out of those?

Like I said, I don't mind paying for stuff. It's part of motherhood. I don't want my daughter to be that kid who never participates. But when is it enough already? And what is T-shirt Day going to accomplish?


Asked by Ballad at 11:24 AM on Sep. 5, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (42)
  • Wow, I am glad that we don't have to deal with any kind of guidelines about clothing, "spirit" day, or themes.

    I think the school is just planning events/activities & coming up with ideas.

    If it creates a hardship of any kind, make a decision and know that it's okay because it's right for you.

    We actually have two t-shirts with the name of my husband's college on them, because we happened to buy them when we were there over the summer for a reunion. Our boys like those shirts and tend to wear them whenever they are laundered & back in the stack of clothes. I think it is pretty silly to think they are "promoting" the idea of higher education by having little kids wear shirts with college logos. It seems outrageous to me that a school would go there (and also that they would think that is somehow doing something positive or meaningful!) Think of is as an option: as opportunities IF you own the item AND wish to participate.

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:32 PM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • Is fitting in that important that you'll waste money on crap she'll probably never wear again? I can guarantee you the kids from families who are struggling and unemployed or on benefits aren't running out buying a shirt a week.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 11:33 AM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • Just do the colors. I doubt anyone expects a logo'd shirt for each event

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:33 AM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • When my kids were in public school, as a single parent I simply could not afford for both of them (or even one of them to participate in every little thing. So I was just honest with them: Mommy cannot afford it, I'm sorry. When I did want to let them participate, and could afford it, I let them. Sometimes, we compromised. For example, they had March of Dimes week every year. The whole week would cost close to $100 for the both of them. So I would tell them they could look over the list of events for the week and pick 1 or 2 (depending on what I could afford) that they would be allowed to do. And my response to "not fitting in" was always "Well, why do you want to be like everyone else?" No, I never put them in a position to be the weird kids that NEVER do anything, but I also taught them that we don't need to do everything everyone else does. It's okay to be an individual and not do something.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:07 PM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • I don't think anyone expects you to overextend yourself. Spirit shirts are usually sold by the PTA / PTO and a little of that money is actually fundraising. Many schools have a spirit day every week where they wear these shirts. They also wear them on field trips (easier to keep track of them). All of the other stuff is nice, but don't go beyond your comfort level.

    Personally, I hate spirit night where they tell your kid to have you take them out for dinner, usually to a quicky not very good eatery where they get a percentage of the profits for the night if you mention the school name. I would rather throw a five dollar bill at the PTO and eat something better.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:32 AM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • Maybe for you that's a priority but my actual bills are my priority. I would never pay for full day kindergarten when half day is free. I always hear you say " you " can't do this & that but why can't your boyfriend help her with those things? You never ever talk about him helping, that saddens me.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 12:30 PM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • Oh and just wait till spirit week when * gasp* they have crazy hair day, mismatch day, school color day ect.. You're gonna lose your mind lmao.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:28 AM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • You don't have to participate. My DD doesn't always & she doesn't mind. For example, there was a cowboy/girl day. Well I hate all things country so, naturally my DD lacks western gear. But, she wore a t-shirt with a horse on it. Personally though, you should be happy that the shirt was only $15. My DD's school charges $25 and the shirts are required for field trip days.

    Answer by 3libras at 11:38 AM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • My son is in 5th grade and I have not spent that much since he has been in school

    Same here. He has no interest in participating in any of the spirit junk, has his team shirts he can use any time there's an assembly or sports even where he has to wear school colors. The most we ever spend is at the book fair, and half of that is usually getting wrapped up under the tree.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 11:57 AM on Sep. 5, 2013

  • $200 for raffle tickets?

    You know, funny thing. The first year DS was in kinder they (school and PTO) send home all of these fundraisers within the first two weeks of school. We got three at once. Entertainment books, cookie dough and the wrapping paper/gift items catalog. I, thinking that this was a school wide fundraising effort and wanting to do 'my part' ordered from all of them. I ordered enough so that he wouldn't feel like he had to go door to door peddling the same crap all of the neighbors kids were. When the orders came in and we were given the green light to pick up our goods, I noticed that I was one of only a handful of parents that actually participated. Only do what fits in your comfort level and what your DD will get the most use of.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:55 PM on Sep. 5, 2013